Last Chance To Sign Up For Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU)

Few days left to go Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU) – RECORDING

If you missed the introduction on Sunday, you really missed something great. It was amazing, fabulous and wonderful. We sipped chilled Champagne in frosted flutes – like the bubbles and fizz of life – and ate the season’s juiciest fruits to remind us of the deliciousness of life.

INTOR PARTY.jpg

We had graduates of the course in attendance and I do not have words to describe the texture and flavor that these ladies brought to the evening. The women who took the workshop had discovered their passion and we all are now passionate about our journeys. They became courageous where courage was missing, now taking risks and walking out on the skinny branches by facing fear in the face. We are women and we have fear, fear does not have us.

CITOU women rock their internal houses like never before.

If you are weak of heart, CITOU might not be for you.

In this workshop you lay your heart on the line, you expose your underbelly so that you can step into the woman that you truly are.
• You speak up boldly
• You tell your truth
• You are listened to with passion and compassion
• Judgment gets left at the door.
• The space is filled to the brim with support; you take on your power
• You get to face your fears no matter what they are
• We have the Vegas Rule – everyone’s confidentiality is protected

At the introduction to the Calling In the One Unapologetically workshop, the guests were honored and cherished and they had an opportunity to get a sense of what CITOU is about from women who participated in the last two courses. The introduction was powerful because not only did the guests hear about the power and magic of the workshop, but the previous participants shared some of their personal experiences. Some women had not dated in a number of years and are now having dates where dating is no longer a daunting experience. Women who for years had been trying to fit into some mythical club, are now members of their own fan club and found their own inner peace.

A woman shared about going on a date with an ex-boyfriend and described how she changed her attitude powerfully by seeing her own beauty and experiencing him afresh – and their get together turned intimate and he told her she was “astonishing.”

A gay woman found that she could either feminine herself up or butch it up when she felt like it, discovering the only rules she has to follow are her own.

Within CITOU, the women discovered a myriad of inner and external gifts they already had but weren’t aware of.

Calling in the One Unapologetically calls you in to look at your life and find out what you desire so you can actually receive it.

CALLING IN THE ONE UNAPOLOGETICALLY STARTS SOON!
THE WORKSHOP FEE IS: $250.00 – A DEPOSIT AGREEMENT OF $125.00 SECURES YOUR SPACE
LAST DAY FOR REGISTRATION IS WEDNESDAY JUNE 25TH 2014

CITOU is a 9-week workshop and the next one begins THURSDAY JUNE 26TH 2014 AT 7:00PM

Location:

Pearl Studios

500 Eighth Ave

New York, NY 10018
Room 401 

SPACE IS LIMITED
FIRST COME FIRST SERVED

What Women Said About Calling In The One Unapologetically Workshop

What can I say about this workshop? It was phenomenal! My experience of the workshop has transformed my communication and relationship to men.  If I can be candid with you, since my divorce some good many years ago, I believed that there was nothing a man could do for me that I could not do for myself. Truth be told, the only thing that a man could do for me was sex – a good roll in the hay and I knew what I liked and was not very open to anything else.  Sex was one of the few things that a man could provide for me, plus a few handyman things.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love men and there were other things that they could do for me, but sex was the prime ingredient.  I was not looking for a partner. Furthermore, from where I stood, there was not much I could see.  Yes, you might even say that I objectified men.

Some time ago, I had a relationship with a man and this time, I completely allowed myself to enjoy my interaction with him, spending times when we were just being together. During my interactions with him I felt loving, kind and generous. I discovered that the missing ingredient was me.  As it turned out, the relationship did not last, however the experience left me wondering and feeling wonderful. I had love for this man, which was great.  I had learned to express love.

After that relationship, it dawned on me that what I desire is a committed loving relationship with a man. However, as an adult woman, I had no idea what it would take or who I had to become to have one.  So I started to inquire about what having that kind of relationship would take.  That is when I found the book, Calling in the One I started reading it and saw all the exercises and realized that I had no interest in going through the book alone and invited some women into having me facilitate a group where we would go through it together.

Completion Party for the last Calling In The One workshop
Completion Party for the last Calling In The One workshop

It was a wild and woolly experience that ended a nine week experience with all I could say was WOW.  It was emotional, I cried buckets of tears, and I discovered things about myself that I did not know. During one of the exercises on releasing, I experienced what I can best describe as synchronistic: boyfriends, ex-husband, ex-lovers all turned up almost from out of the blue with apologies for things they had said or done in the relationship.  Memories came flooding back of the kind of relationship my mother and father had.  Long and difficult conversations with my former husband were had. I developed a new and profound respect for myself and men, the discovery of what love as an expression really is for me and for others.

Although I was the facilitator of the workshop, I was doing the work alongside the other women. The workshop had me go places that no ordinary woman would want to go.  The women who participated in this workshop were and are an extraordinary class of women who made it safe for everyone to go to those places.  This workshop is a microcosm of life on the court. The heavy lifting and removing obstacles and the resulting lightness of being afterwards has left me more accepting of men than ever before, which is resulting in the beginnings of new friendships. I could not have done this work without the other women in the group. What I saw was that thriving relationships are not for the weak at heart.  In relationships one is compelled to look at oneself in the face through the reflection of another. This workshop is for all women who love who they love, where women who are looking at themselves get to see themselves through the nonjudgmental listening of other women.

As previously mentioned, I based this workshop on the book, Calling In the One by Katherine Woodward Thomas, and what I provided was a support structure with respect and a safe space for women to express themselves.  I will be facilitating another workshop later this summer.

Come to our Introduction Party on June 15th, 2014 at 3:00 p.m. to learn more about this wonderful workshop!

cito2.jpg TESTIMONIALS

“I love this workshop! When I started this workshop I was single for three years, not really having any luck in the dating scene. As a lesbian in NYC, your outlets to meet new women are limited to a handful of bars and I wasn’t having any luck on online dating. I felt lost navigating through the urban jungle and through social life of the LGBTQ scene. I eventually threw in the towel and told myself I was never going to meet anyone, ever again. 

The moment I started this workshop things started moving for me! I was able to forgive my exes and let go of past wrongs and hurt from all relationships in my life. I started working on powerful affirmations for my life, on my self-confidence, and creating my dream woman. Two weeks into the course, I had the courage to ask out a woman that I really admire. Now, you must know I NEVER would have taken the chance! I had no idea how it would go and I was terrified – I didn’t even know if she was into women! I “made of move” and it’s been a blast ever since! Dating someone while taking this workshop has made the biggest difference. Weekly I come and share what I want to create and let go of insecurities so I can have a healthy relationship.  I’m committed to going from a “me” to a “we.” And, the woman I am dating is the woman of my dreams!” – Kat Pactong

“I am so simply amazed that Noreen just kind of fell into my life and presented me with the gift of being a part of a group that is so life changing and touching. Before CITO  I just didn’t know how to articulate my feelings or express them correctly or effectively , through each week I am now able to be authentic and open in a way that sharing is as natural to me as breathing. I feel a greater sense of well being & belonging. I learned so much from the women in the group. I have shared the most recent phases of my journey with them. What made me feel a greater sense of powerful vulnerability is when Noreen would share . I realized through her that wherever we are in life we are all human. CITO changed my life & I am so ecstatic to pass this message along! I BELIEVE WITH MY WHOLE HEART IT WILL CHANGE YOURS TOO!” – Aleisha D. Stewart

I would love to connect with you on social media. Please feel free to reach out to me on Twitter and Facebook

Removing Emotional Armor

I first noticed I was hiding behind emotional armor with a friend of mine that I loved very much. It was difficult and I choose to give up my emotional armor and become vulnerable.  We used to go skating in Central Park every Sunday, she, her husband and my husband (now ex) and I.  They were all good at skating. I was awful and gradually over time I became better. One Sunday we had a skating picnic for a friend’s birthday in the Central Park. My friend wanted me to skate with her like we always did and I said “in a minute.” However, that minute never happened she got angry because I didn’t skate with her that Sunday.

We lived in the same building; we were neighbors, so I couldn’t avoid my friend who got really angry at me and we started fussing, me standing my ground that I did not have to skate.  During those times I did not have the context of having it all, I lived in a one-or-the-other world. We both went home to our respective houses upset.  However, the fussing continued with our respective husbands until they became fed up.  My husband called friend’s husband and they both came down to our apartment and we all came together.  Our husbands knew that they would not be getting any peace while we were upset with each other.  They let us hash it out. I was by the bathroom with my arms crossed and my lower lip pushed out sulking, she was on the corner of our couch, arms crossed in a slouched position.

Keeping on your emotional armor creates a whirlwind of emotions.
Keeping on your emotional armor creates a whirlwind of emotions inside.

I loved my friend very much, and I felt the love and the upset I could feel both emotions were whirling around inside me. I did not want to acknowledge either of them.  It was in that moment that I accepted that I had armor. I wanted to be right, and upset, rather than ask her to forgive me and admit that she was disappointed. I knew that if I continued this way I would lose my friend, which would meant losing all the fun that we had together, the skating, parties, cocktail hours, conversations in the garden, shopping, everything and most of all the intimacy and trust we ever had.  This was the first time that I realized that this is the way I acted when I felt attacked or made wrong.  I would just cut off the relationship.  I saw that I was prone to suffering rather than cleaning up the messes.

I took a leap of faith and took responsibility for my armor. It was a protective shield that I had created years ago to avoid feeling vulnerable.  Being vulnerable for me was a weakness and I didn’t want to look or feel weak.  Accepting my fear of vulnerability opened me up to a sense of power. I became honest with myself and my friend. I’m human, at some point in my relationships and interactions I will experience or cause upsets, disappointments and communication breakdowns. Life is not black and white and my fears were valid, and my actions or inactions have consequences.

I’ve learned that anger is an important emotion and if not expressed it ends up becoming resentment.  Anger is here to help us deal with our perceived violations and perpetrations. I can choose to express it or repress it.  If repressed it becomes a vicious cycle and I will continue experience lack of control. I feared my anger because I felt that it was bigger than me. I repressed anger not knowing it was the same experience, Ieaving me with feelings of constant defensiveness.

Today, I feel that there really is nothing to be fearful of about my anger.  Owning anger and using it as an alarm system to realize when our boundaries have been breached. Note that when we are angry it looks like we are angry at the other person.  However, if we are honest with ourselves we see that we are angry at ourselves when we distinguish this, it become a form of sadness, and I have now learned to deal with it in a way that supports me.  I can be with my anger.  I listen to what aspect of my boundaries have been breached. Katherine Woodward Thomas so eloquently says:

“Listen to its power and its fury.  Underneath the resounding whirlwind of rage is a very important message that we obviously need to hear.  When anger consumes us, there is information present that is much like gold that must be searched for and minded.”

We can then restore our integrity and personal safety.  Anger becomes an opportunity to take positive action – where relationships thrive, friendships are maintained and love is present.  It is a powerful opportunity for balance in relationships.

We cannot have or keep love and friendship alive without experiencing our emotions and growing without doing the work we are resisting.

You do not have to answer the questions below – however, by doing so and taking action you might be able to put your boundaries back in place and restore your personal integrity.  You might see and opportunity for true forgiveness.

  • Who are you angry at?
  • What are you most afraid of?
  • What are the violations of your boundaries?
  • What is your responsibility?
  • What if any actions are you willing to take or not take?
  • What could happen if you take no action?
  • When will you take these actions or have the matter be complete?
  • Is there a place for forgiveness of yourself or the person involved?

NoreenSumpterCoach.com

I would love to connect with you on social media. Please feel free to reach out to me on Twitter and Facebook.

 

 

Brooklyn Life Coach. Serious Business

 

 

Why do I need a life coach?
You are highly intelligent and well put together, you got it going on but you feel that you’re not going anywhere. The only thing that’s changing is time and your age. (Yes, I went there) you have the trappings of a good life, but something’s missing? You feel empty and confused and you don’t know why. Do you come home from a successful day of work and you look in the mirror, see a beautiful woman but your just not happy. How is it for you? What do you want? What is important to you. What do you really care about? Are you afraid to take personal risks? Are you afraid to put yourself out there to be truly heard?

What can a life coach do for me?
After working with me, you will have inner confidence. You will achieve true sense of happiness by creating a strong sense of who you truly are, letting go of your fears, gaining the courage to take personal risks and action. You will begin to take deliberate steps to go after, find and do what is important to you. By removing the shame of things you have kept hidden for a lifetime, you will begin to really take care of yourself and develop relationships that recognize your inner value and self-worth. By developing a long lasting relationship with yourself first. You will develop the freedom you want for your life. By creating time and relationships, you will get tools that will last a life time.

What others have gained coaching with me. “Noreen does exactly what a coach should do – listen, support and encourage. I appreciate how flexible, realistic and down to earth she is, and I can tell that she has a real passion for her work. I experienced results much faster than I ever expected, and I have her to thank for that.”
– Robin G., New York

“I put my trust in Noreen, the process, myself, and the universe to provide. To my surprise, within a couple months, the perfect job came my way. From that point forward, I became a true believer in this process and what it is capable of.” – Laurie K., Michigan

Who am I?
Hi, I’m Noreen Sumpter, a certified Life and Personal Coach based in Brooklyn, New York. I have been practicing coaching all my life, helping people achieving their goals comes naturally for me. I absolutely love what I do for a living. I am an honest, straightforward coach, who cares about my clients, practice and community. I will be open, supportive, and firm. I provide loving guidance in your aim to have what you desire. I am here to help you be your best self. If you would like to learn more about me, please visit my website or contact me.

Brooklyn: Living the Dream Larger Than Life

Over the next few weeks, Noreen Sumpter, a Personal http://ts4arts.org/sales/ Life Coach will be interviewing people in a series called “Brooklyn: Living the Dream Larger Than Life.”

Brooklyn: Living the Dream Larger Than Life’s Noreen Sumpter will be talking with amazing people who are doing just that: living their dream. “Living the dream” means going after what it is you say you want to do, who you want to be and what you want to have in your life.  You are creating your life by doing the things that you are passionate about.  You’re taking risks and receiving what you want.

This week, Living the Dream Larger Than Life features Tony Taylor, owner of the Brooklyn hosiery, Look From London.
Tony can be described as a man who loves, adores and worships the legs of women.  He loves to dress women’s legs, ankles, thighs, and feet.   Winter for Tony is his best and most favorite time of year.

Lokk For London
Tell us why you think you are living the dream larger than life.
I am living the dream larger than life because I’m doing what I love and making a living at it.  I love working in hosiery.  I love women and I love their legs.  My hosiery makes things beautiful and edgy.
<strong>
Why is winter the best time of year for you?</strong>
Winter is when the hosiery business comes alive. This is the time of year when I become a super hero to women’s legs.  It’s when my mission takes effect.  My mission is beauty, protection and empowerment.  I protect and beatify women’s legs from the harshness of the cold, wet and winter weather.  It is during winter when I can get into action and enjoy the fruits of my labor as women begin to wear my designs and new orders come rushing in.
<strong>
How did you get into the hosiery business?</strong>
While in the music business and looking for a record deal in London twenty years ago I saw a lot of interesting legwear in London that I did not see in America.  I was a singer in a Reggae band at the time.  Women were wearing amazing hosiery at the record companies.  We purchased a few and brought them back to USA with us.  Music and fashion go hand in hand.  The rest is, as they say, history.  Look From London was officially started in 1989.  It was music, sex and rock ‘n roll. a winning combo.  I love dressing women.  But most of all I love dressing their legs.

<strong>How come you love dressing women’s legs? What is it about legs that fascinates and inspires you so much?</strong>
Well, the waist to toes is a huge area.  Hosiery draws a lot of attention from men and women, especially when one is wearing a great design.  With a pop of color, the legs get transformed into a vibrant expression, coupled with shape and motion – ready for business.  Hosiery adds a taste and flavor to any fashion trend.  Also, in times of recession, hosiery can transform and update your closet in a very refreshing way by brightening and enlivening any outfit by recycling it and making it perpetually new.  It tells people to focus on my legs.

<strong>What are you passionate about?</strong>
I am passionate about my family, my daughter and my creations.   I love my designs from conceptualization to actualization to when a woman is wearing Look From London in the street, strutting her stuff.  I just love it.
What separates your hosiery from the other hosiery companies?
My hosiery is loud, bold and not for the faint of heart.  Look From London calls for a person who is confident, open and fully self-expressed.  We service everyone in all communities to wear Look From London.  All genders and all sexual orientations wear our hosiery.

<strong>Your hosiery energy is so bold and big.</strong>
Well, what’s the point in skirting on the edge of life when you can be in life making a statement that packs a big punch?  Look From London hosiery makes a strong statement. Look From London is for the person who is edgy. I sometimes hear that Look From London is a little too much for some people, but there are items that may appeal to people who when ready want to stretch the boundaries.  If you know yourself as loud, proud, and living larger than life, then Look from London is for you. www.LookfromLondon.com.

<strong>How long have you been in Brooklyn and why Brooklyn?</strong>
Brooklyn is and has always been a place that has a lot of power and is filled with all kinds of things going on with different kinds of people and it is because of its diversity that Brooklyn has always provided me with a lot of inspiration and creativity.  One of my favorite things to say about Look from London is “Born in London; raised in Brooklyn” That is my motto and that’s how I see it. It took being in Brooklyn to raise my company.

<strong>How long has Look From London been around? </strong>
Look From London has been in Brooklyn for twenty years.  We employ people from Brooklyn, we create almost everything in Brooklyn.  Our factory is right here on Hart Street in Clinton Hill.  We are “Brooklyn Massive.”

<strong>Do you think it is important for you to do what you love?</strong>
Absolutely, without a doubt.  I could not think of doing something I do not enjoy or that does not challenge me.  In business just like my hosiery, I have to be bold, creative and self-expressed.  I love what I do and it’s not up for discussion. Things that I don’t enjoy I don’t give energy to.
Is your voiced expressed in the business?

Not only is my voice expressed, but the voice of everyone who wears hosiery from Look From London is fully self-expressed.  I still sing and create music. Hosiery provides me another form of expression.

Visit Look From London at www.LookfromLondon.com or call: 718 403 9035

Take Your Time: 365 Days to Start Anew.

What have you in mind for New Year’s Day, 2014?  What do you need to say and do to have 2013 be finished so you can step into this shiny New Year of 2014?
What doubts and concerns do you have right now, and are you willing to accept and let go of them?  How do you want to spend the brand new days ahead?  The countdown starts at 12 midnight the last day of December. Take your time and ask yourself, who will you be kissing and counting down the seconds with?  Will you be at a party reveling with others celebrating?  Will you be at home settled in with friends or family.  Will you be home watching TV or sleep through it?
How will you bring in the New Year?  Will you have paper and pen at the ready to create your new resolutions?  Do you even create resolutions? Will it be the typical conversation you have with yourself about weight loss, losing the excess weight that has been stuck to your body for the last few years? Or spending less on lattes and frappes?
So we have a New Year. What are the goals that you want to set to have your mind take massive actions to achieve them?
What is the vision that you will create for yourself so that you will live a life of fulfillment and satisfaction?   Create a vision. Live your vision.

Photo by Brett Jordan
It’s 2014 soon, and ahead you have 365 brand new days to Live Your Vision.
The past:

What is the past?
Where do you think the past lives?
What is the past to you?
Is your past in your face, like it is going on right now in the present?
If you put your past where it is belongs (in the past) what do you have available?
Is there anything that your past can contribute to your life in 2014?
If you were to put the past where it belonged, what is it that you think that you might have that’s new or different from before?

The Future:

What do you have in store for those brand new 365 days ahead?
What will you ask for in 2014?
What will you create for yourself and your life in 2014?
What are you willing to throw out of your life this year and put in newly?
What unreasonable requests will you be willing to make in the New Year 2014?
What fears, upsets, hurts are you willing to learn from and release in 2014?
What and who will you choose to forgive in 2014?
Now imagine: it is 2014 and this is a brand new year.  Many things will happen in 2014. 2014 will have 524,160 minutes in total for the year.  When we break it down in this way what is your experience of time?
However, it is the same amount of time that each and every one of us on the planet is allotted if we are lucky.
Will you do what you love this year or will you sit around judging yourself and being afraid that if you do what you love you will be judged by others for it?  What comes naturally for you and what do you have to work on?  This year, is it time for you to look at what you are passionate about or just be a member of the Complaining Committee.
What is your reason for the New Year?  If you take a look at your life, what do you think you are here for? When I say “here for,” I mean in this life.  What are you on this planet for?
•        I am here first and foremost to experience a life that I create.
What does that life look like?
•        I am here to learn and grow in all facets of life.
•        I am here to help and be helped.
•        I am here to expand my human capacities.
•        I am here to heal and forgive
•        I am here to love and be loved
•        I am here to be kind
•        I am here to be happy and share happiness
•        I am here to learn to take risks
•        I am here to learn to trust life and others no matter what
•        I am here to experience life fully no matter what
•        I am here to live in the moment
•        I am here to give up the past
•        I am here to revel in my joy and the joys of others
•        I am here to know that it is okay to fail and it is through failure that I recreate and learn
Can we just be quiet for a moment and start looking at life in a way that focuses us on the things in life that make us happy?
Happy? What is “happy” to you?  People talk about being more happy/happier in their life; they want to be more happy.  How do you become more/happy when you may not have distinguished the happiness that you already have?  There is no such thing as “more happy.”  There is only being happy.  Happy is expansive, happy is our natural way of being.  Happy is all there is.  When we are happy we are being with what is.  We are being authentic and living in the present which is our natural state.  We are at peace with ourselves and all that is happening.  We are not making ourselves wrong, by tearing ourselves down piece by piece.  We are living in the moment.  Oh so happy.
When we are not happy we are asking someone, please show me more happiness.  Happy is like more chicken please when you have a whole roasted chicken on your plate and you have not even stuck your knife in yet. You have not even tasted it and yet you want more chicken, not knowing if the chicken that you have on your plate even tastes good.  Consider that if you work with the happy that you have, the more happiness that you want is already there. It will expand and you will be happy.
Who is responsible for your happiness?  The only person that is responsible for your happiness is you and only you.  No one can make you happy.  (Corollary, no-one can make you unhappy!) Happiness resides in you or not.  Anyhoo, I love that anyhoo, anyhoo, anyhoo, I feel like an owl when I say hoo.  Back to the story at hand.  We as humans talk about peace and happiness in the world and often times we look out into the world for that peace, not realizing that the peace that we seek outside ourselves cannot be found until we find peace and happiness inside ourselves.  The longer we live in upset and not look at what it is that has it be there, the longer we will be upset.
I am the only person that is responsible for my happiness, I am the only person responsible for peace.  Peace lives inside self and when peace is not present inside of self then there comes a time to ask, whose responsibility is it to put it in?
I have friends who are upset with me. We all have friends who are upset with us.  I have been upset, disappointed and sad with this situation.  I don’t like to be upset with anyone.  My friends are wonderful and there are times when our relationships take a turn and they can get ugly.  I do not profess to be an angel.  I am a life coach and I am always learning, expanding, growing as a human being.
I have a commitment to be open and honest with myself and my life.  I have a commitment to be powerful, successful, creative and abundant.   I have a commitment to never cause harm to another person.  Am I guilty of all of these things?  Yes.  I know it can take a lot for me to keep all of these agreements and will I falter?

Absolutely. I do know, however, that there is peace and happiness as I maintain this commitment now and throughout the New Year.
Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach who works with High Achievers who have dreams and gifts.
What’s one of your aspirations?  Maybe it’s a dream that you have forgotten or you have begun to give up on.  If that vision were awakened and alive today, what would your life look like?  Take a moment to dream and think about what you want for your life so you can take deliberate steps, owning your voice, speaking your truth, having the freedom to live life your way. “Live Life Your Way”
www.noreensumptercoach.com  917-945-5907  https://www.facebook.com/noreensumptercoach

An Interview with Actress Cece Abbassi

Cece Abbassi

 

I’d like to introduce and welcome <a href=”http://www.backstage.com/ceceabbassi/”>Cece Abbassi</a>, who is originally from London England.  Cece has come to New York to follow her dream of being an actor.  This is not Cece’s first time in New York.    Her experience in England was not inspiring or successful.  She was not getting any auditions.  She noticed all the best actors of color like Idris Elba left England and are making it in America.  She wants create her chance.

Cece is my niece and she out talking to people, making contacts so that she can learn what she needs to know about working in NY.  Cece is Jamaican, and Iranian. She stands 5’6” and has a shiny energy.  She is described as bubbly and charismatic.  She walks into a room and her energy takes over.

She’s in New York City pursuing her dream of becoming an actor.  So without further ado, here is Cece’s interview.

<strong>Idris Elba is a popular British actor, what do you think about him being the new James Bond?</strong>
I love this man, every time I pass the Mandela posters that line the walls of my local subway station I’m filled with much pride. Now, Idris Elba as James Bond? I think it’s great that Idris is a candidate but I’m somewhat torn between tradition and the character evolving further. For me, Bond is Roger Moore. I wasn’t best pleased when Daniel Craig was cast as 007. There’s an infinite amount of room to create and establish strong and new 007-esque inspired characters. Come on, let’s get creative.

<strong>What do you think of American Men and are there any differences between men here and men across the pond?</strong>
Comparatively it’s hard to say as we’re all individuals and have all had various levels of cultural conditioning especially if I’m to compare two major cities that are as culturally diverse as London and New York. I feel there are probably far many more similarities than differences especially if we are considering television and film as our cultural gage, as our exposure is essentially the same. Having said that though one distinct difference in character is confidence; an American doesn’t need the help of three or four pints in order to tell you that they think you’re gorgeous.

<strong>You have been in Brooklyn before what is it that brings you back?</strong>
Apart from me loving New York’s infectious get up and go energy, I’m here to further my career as an actress as you have a hell of a lot more opportunity for actors of color. Television and Film is usually a medium that reflects its society and in the UK the African Diaspora makes up something like just under 2 million of a population of 63 million, so obviously there would be more opportunity over here as the African Diaspora in the US makes up a much larger percentage of the population.

<strong>When did you realize that you had this burning passion to become an actor? </strong>
I had always wanted to try my hand at acting but it took me a while before I expressed it.  As a child, I went to a performing arts school in London called The Brit School and my priority back then was art and music. The realization happened when I was living in Madrid and I saw an advertisement for a bilingual theater production. I fell in love with acting, the city and its people – a pretty significant part of my heart is still there.

<strong>What fears and concerns did you have to give up in order to pursue your career?</strong>
That annoying internal voice that would preach social conformity, yes that used to concern me – it’s terrified of me now so it knows to stay away.
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Who and what inspired you to pursue your dreams as an actor?</strong>
My creative practice inspires me to connect and help people connect with themselves. As an artist the best feeling for me is when I help someone connect with a part of him or herself that they wouldn’t usually give themselves access to.
I know that I’m fortunate to know exactly what it is that I want and because of that I’m on a relentless pursuit to make it happen. I know for many this isn’t the case and if you’re reading this and you so happen to be one of those people the best advice I can give is to go and try something new, something out of your comfort zone, even if  its volunteering for a few hours a week. I see it as a process of elimination in the shape of a life sized sieve. Eventually you’ll figure it out and when you do you won’t be able to imagine yourself doing anything else. I love acting, it feels like every experience I’ve ever had makes sense and can be put to use. Also I recommend getting yourself a life coach – hire Noreen Sumpter – she’s brilliant.

<strong>In one year where would you like to have your career be? </strong>
Lead in a feature film.

<strong>What do you believe is your right as a woman to be do and have the life you want? </strong>
I believe as a human for me to have complete rights is for me to be autonomous achieved by educating myself mentally, spiritually, physically and by having financial independence. Unfortunately in most parts of the world financial independence equates to freedom.

<strong>What kind of actor are you? And what and how inspires you? </strong>
Every person I’ve come into contact with, I believe that every person you meet whether it is for all of five seconds leaves a little fragment of themselves with you. So to answer your question connecting is what inspires me.

<strong>What is the most difficult thing that you have overcome and what is the mindset that you created to get over it? </strong>
Choosing to no longer facilitate a relationship with a family member based on my relatives’ terms. I believe ‘how you do anything is how you do everything’ I carry that philosophy into every aspect of my life.

<strong>You describe yourself as colored; do you know that this is a reference that African Americans no longer use to describe themselves? Knowing this why do you describe yourself as colored? Are you confident enough to deal with the backlash that this could cause? </strong>
Well, I don’t know about you but I’ve never seen a black person nor a white person. We come in many shades and I feel like the word “colored” is inclusive of our various different forms (my father is Middle Eastern and my mother is Caribbean). To answer your question about whether I can deal with any backlash that my using the word colored might cause, like everything in this world, words are no different. They take on their own evolution but also stand as a reference point to what they once stood for. I feel we could view this once derogatory word and see it as marker to how far we’ve come. I’m a paradigm shifter, what can I say.

<strong>If you were to describe yourself what are some of the key adjectives that you would use?</strong>
Lovely – thought I’d throw it in there for you Americans. Boundless, creative, adventurous, dynamic, smart, loyal, fun and kind.
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Acting is not an easy career, there are a lot of rejections, and what do you do to keep yourself grounded? </strong>
I see every audition a bit like dating: you could go on a date and you’re both exactly what the other is looking for. Sometimes it’s one sided, and other times there could be just no chemistry at all. Now, I love dating and I’ve experienced all three scenarios. Am I going to give up on creating new possibilities because I fear that every audition or date may not land me the role or have me not meet one of the big loves of my life… absolutely not.

<strong>What’s the most helpful piece of advice you can offer to anyone wanting to pursue his or her dream?</strong>
The answer to that is in the question, to ask for help, there’s no shame in it. We can’t achieve anything alone, we need each other so ask, and you might just be surprised at how willing people are to help you. I was given that piece of advice by my life coach Noreen Sumpter and it’s constantly in action.

http://www.backstage.com/ceceabbassi/

What do you want from your life?

Photo by Son of Groucho
Photo by Son of Groucho

 

At the end of the day, what do you really want for yourself and your life? What are the results and benefits that you want to accomplish? What will you do to walk away a winner, having what you want?

Below is a list of the tangible, measurable results that you may want:

1. Confidence

2. Accomplishment of your personal goals

3. A strong self-esteem that rockets

4. Trust in yourself and in others

5. An experience of happiness with yourself

6. Creating your own truth and thus making it your reality

7. Freedom

8. Strong, generative passionate relationships

9. Grounded, connected and at ease with life

10. The past in its place

11. Abundance of health, wealth, love, power, success and creativity

12. Creating your passion and sharing it unabashedly

Some very simple questions to ask yourself.

Is there anywhere in your life that you are not recognizing your power, your strength? Think about it.

Do you know who you are?

Do people really know you?

What do you like about yourself?

What do you love about yourself?

Who do you have disagreements with and are you willing to clean them up?

Would you like to create a new image of yourself that reflects your true being?

What’s the quality that you would like to express: courage, compassion, love, trust, etc?

What is in the way of you developing those qualities?

What would you look like with your new quality?

What would it provide for your life?

How can you make your life a priority?

Are disempowered thoughts keeping you trapped and robbing you of your self-worth?

How to rediscover what you really want

Photo by EvelynGiggles
Photo by EvelynGiggles

What is right for you – that is the question.
When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating over and over again what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.
What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you really want it provides you with passion.  You start to take real action, regardless of any fears.  You receive the opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   When what you want is right for you, there is a sense of knowing that cannot be explained; it can only be expressed.
When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you can lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You don’t know where to start.
Start by setting goals.
The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create that provides service for others is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.
Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you.
Set a clear picture of how many clients you need to achieve your goal, or how many units you need to sell to reach your goal.  Then get yourself energized.  Find out how you will provide and service these people.
Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients you want and the money we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to be able to have the structure in place to be ready.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what you desire or want.  Get straight with yourself.  Notice and look at your fear of success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  It is just a feeling, not a fact.
As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.
What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Give Your Word Away

Photo by neverendingx1
Photo by neverendingx1

Giving your word helps your creativity soar.  I am as guilty as the next person – saying I am going to do something, start creating it and not finishing it. Whatever reason I had for stopping what I was creating, my reasons are never real. My reasons are things that live in my head and impact the way I communicate.  I speak curtly to myself. I get annoyed and irritated with myself. My energy feels dis-empowered and I have no self-compassion.
When I look at this, what it came down to is that there areas of my life that are important but at the same time difficult.  I noticed I was rarely honoring my word to myself.  No matter what I created, whatever needed to occur, was not going to happen because my word was weak.  In order to break this pattern, I created a stand for myself called “The Royal Word.”
It was not that I did not deserve to be treated well; it was that I did not get the impact of keeping my word to myself.   I just made myself wrong for not finishing the things I said I was going to do.  Why? Because I made up the idea that along with my new ideas, I was supposed to know how to get them done.  How could that be?  My new idea was something I never did before and something I never created before. I would see it in my mind’s eye, but when it came to manifesting it, I was making myself wrong because I thought I was also supposed to know what to do.  Because I could not make it happen, I believed I had failed myself and therefore hid the idea from myself and others. I moved on, however I would repeat this pattern over and over again.   Duh!
What I recently learned to do was to forgive myself and let go of my need to know how to do something.  How many of you have a need to know how things are supposed to go?  Millions of us.  When I had a need to know I felt dis-empowered, and experienced a loss of power. With the loss of power I felt confused, upset and angry at myself.  My anger at myself was like having a low grade fever.  I felt ashamed, and just plain bad.

 

What I learned was to switch myself on full blast.  I learned it works to share my upset, and tell on myself.  With this I also discovered that when I am creating something new, I can give myself permission to not know how it is going to go. I can be like a newborn baby that came into the world.  My new idea is just an idea. I have a general idea and I will develop it and give myself permission to fail.  I am allowed to get it wrong.  I give myself permission to be like a child is learning to walk, it falls down a million times.  I don’t have to worry about what my peers are going to say about me.  I can just fail and fail and fail, until I get it to succeed.
I have learned to give my word to my friends.  I give my word to people who are on the same path as me.  Have you noticed how it is easy for us to provide for others and when it comes to ourselves we just give up?  Well, I am committed to being a success in all areas of my life, doing the things that I deem successful.

 

What works for me is giving my word to another person.  It lives like when a close friend asks you to do something, you do it, no matter how long it takes for you to do it.  You get it done on the wire; you meet the friend’s deadline, right?  Have you noticed how that happens?  Now, on the flip side, when you have to give your word to yourself, you fiddle around and almost never get it done.

 

I give my word to a friend – someone who I respect – so that I now have an anchor for my word.  This anchor has been helping me fulfill my word.  I am learning and taking on my dreams. It helps me not to forget that I count, that I am important, and that I have a unique and special contribution to make in the world.  I know that my dreams, fantasies and goals are as important as anyone else’s in the world.  So, Give Your Word Away.

How to Repair a Broken Friendship

Photo by Arne Hendriks
Photo by Arne Hendriks

Last week I talked about friendships and what happens when they suddenly end. I have been pondering my friendships to understand what happens and what it will take for me to be a great friend as well as an incredible Life Coach in the area of Confidence and Self Esteem.

What I saw in myself and my friendships was shocking.  I’ve been being a bratty demanding friend and ending relationships with the Kiss of Death.  I want you to know, that I have been doing some powerful work in and around my friendships. I have taken  immediate action, cleaned up and have gotten rid of olds way of behaving that no longer work or serve me.

What I know is that I love my friends. My friends love me and love being with me.  However, what I saw about myself is that I do not have space for them to make mistakes in their friendship with me.  I want my friends to be perfect and not cause me any concerns or hurt me in any way that I deem unsuitable for a friendship. So the moment I experience an upset or cause for concern, real or imagined, I confront them. If they do not act the way I want them to, I end the relationship. I am gone.  They’re dead to me. This has cost me a lot of friends.

This is just a basic example of what I do:

I send them a text or email which is filled with love and the Kiss of Death.
I erase them from all my communications, Facebook, phone etc.,
When I see them around, I ignore them.
I don’t want to know anything about them ever because I’ll get upset.
Whenever I think about them and have unresolved emotions.

This is what I am left with:

Friends that I have ignored or mentally killed off.
Friends who even if they wanted to be in communication, cannot reach me they’re blocked or ignored.
I have am upset, angry and miss my friends.
I am left with longing with memories of great friends and times that are no long present in my life.
Continuous conversations and stories about what happened or did not happen.

What I’m already being is:

Stubborn – I’ll be dammed, l’ll no longer communicate with them.
Justified – They are wrong, I am right.
Angry and pissed off – To hell with them!
Sad and replaying memories– I’m stubborn and I will not surrender.  They have to say they are sorry first and confess the wrong they have done me.

In the end, what I discovered is that I need to accept my friends as humans. They are going to do and say things that I do not agree with.  Whatever happens in my friendships is not personal. I can accept them anyway they are and are not. I realize what was missing is: vulnerability, integrity, love, patience, kindness and graciousness.

I took on what was missing in my life and what I saw was the piles up upset feelings I created for myself and for my friends.  I realize that this way of being is not who I want to be in my life. I proceeded to call my friends and send email to them and one by one.  I put the integrity back in my life and my relationships by sharing my experiences and how I felt about our relationship.  I let them know I could be counted on going forward.

The response has been great. They got to share how it was for them being on the other end of my stuff (crap.) For those I spoke on the phone with, I have declared that I will clean up with them in person as well.  I shared with them what was there for me, what had me kill off the relationship and how the fear of being told what to do, of being wrong, judged and evaluated, actually impacted our friendship.  I had no compassion for my friends and was being a spoiled brat. The person who was being hard on me was me.

Going forward, my friends get to choose powerfully if they want to engage in a relationship with me from nothing.  I get to accept them as they are and as they are not. If I cannot accept them how they are, then I have no right calling myself a friend.  I don’t have to make them wrong and me right.  This approach does not work. I am a Life Coach and create transformation in other people’s lives.  It was a young conversation which caused me to get reactivated and where I did not have language.  Well, I have the language now and I will use it.

With all that said, I want my friends to know that I love them. I am transforming my old friendships into friendships where I have understanding and communication, where I will be being vulnerable, loving, gracious, and kind. They get to be however they are and choose powerfully if they wish to be friends with me. Together, we create relationships that work.  With that I no longer have to experience fear of loss, upset or some impending hurt.  Whatever way my friends choose to be is fine.

Where in your life are you willing to take action and reclaim your friendship with people you have killed off by giving them The Kiss of Death?

Love, Noreen Sumpter

What are you willing to do to put fun back in your life?

Last week I was exploring how the past impacts my life in areas that are so young that I did not know that I even had those barriers. I don’t realize these barriers exist until something triggers a response. I do not have the memory of what happened just the response I created to survive.  I also got to see that even though I am playing and having fun in my life,  I am not really playing in areas of my life that matter to me.  One area is a love relationship as I don’t have a man. I also saw that while I am very serious about my business, there is no play in that area at all.
I also got to see a big fat area of my life where there is no play.  I have no play in the area of money and that I do not relate to money as a fun tool.  My adult life has no real spontaneity of play.  So, knowing that I am taking a look from where I am now and creating where I would like to go. What will it take to upgrade my inner conversations t0 first class so I have a first class that is created with ease, grace and freedom.

 

There is an old adage that says whatever you want, give it away. So I am creating having a first class life in all areas of my life with a focus of love, and abundance and I plan on sharing this with you.

Photo by AForestFrolic
Photo by AForestFrolic

The questions below are something for you to ask yourself.

  • Where in your life is play missing and what would you be willing to do to put play back in?
  • Answer these questions honestly to yourself. You can even answer them with another person.
  • When you talk with others, are you in monologue or dialogue? Could you share more of yourself by being in a open and free dialogue?  Yes or No?  If yes, try it?

Play exists in conversations and is a back and forth experience.

  • What is your experience of play? Is it hard work, easy or do you just not play at all?
  • Are you having relationships and conversations that are back and forth – free of jumping to conclusions, experiences upsets, releasing anger and losing control?
  • Does playing make you feel uncomfortable?

Think back to when you were a child and were really good at playing:

 

  • What were your favorite games?
  • When you became an adult, did you notice that you stopped playing in your life? When and why did you stopped playing?
  • What are the nature of the kinds of conversations you are currently having in your life? Are they complaints? Are your conversations exciting and happy? Or are your conversations leaving you exhausted or afraid?