What Do You Want?

Do I look scary here? This is what I look like when I don't know what I want.
Do I look scary here? This is what I look like when I don’t know what I want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first 10 people who read this article and email me at noreen@noreensumptercoach.com will receive a 15 minute focus session to discover what it is they are really looking for! 

In reading a copy of Dr. Robert Anthony’s Advanced Formula For Total Success (which is so old it’s falling apart; the edges are brown), this book now my new favorite thing.

What are you looking for? Last year, I could not find a date even if I paid for one (I’m exaggerating). That was what life and dating looked like for me. So I created a workshop entitled Calling in the One Unapologetically with the intention of sharing the course with other women. This year I have dates coming out of the woodwork! Men are complimenting me all over the place. Men are looking me up and down and smiling. Also, men who want to date but have some issue that blocks them, such as a devastating disappointment and heart break they cannot even pull the trigger to show up on a date.

Instead of the upset I used to have, I now have compassion. Because through leading this workshop, I too am learning about myself as well as learning about others. I am making available what I uncover for myself and providing the space for other women to uncover what is going on for them, also – having a relationship of their dreams, a love of their lives. Whether it be a man or a woman, they get to experience what the vision of their relationship would look like and they get to have an experience of who they would like to be in a relationship.

When you know what you are looking for in a relationship you can have it. Consider that you’re looking to have a relationship, or you are already in one. Notice that as soon as you settle yourself into what you want, you are able to see it all over the place. The moment I settled myself into having a relationship, all kinds of men started showing up. It’s like with anything, the moment you decide – whether it’s a job, or clients, a lover, or an amount of money – the opportunities start showing up and the information becomes available.

When I had no idea of what I wanted in a man, I could not see men and they were passing by all of the time. For years I was having the hardest time dating! Knowing exactly what kind of relationship I wanted helped me distinguished the kind of man I wanted and then my awareness of all this helped me obtain it.

If you don’t know what you want, whatever that is, the information on how to get it will not come through. And if somehow it does magically come through, you will most likely not notice it. No matter what you want in your life, you have to start saying something different and something that has value before you can have it – so it is important to always stay in tune with your declarations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Once Upon A Time…

My workshop, Calling in the One Unapologetically, officially started last week on September 18th 2014. The experience was wonderful to see women who describe themselves as shy show up powerfully in their lives. They now realize how their self-declaration of “shy” had disempowered and impacted their lives. They can now see how they were not able to express themselves fully when it came to their personal lives.

In one exercise the women were invited to write about their quest for love in the form of a fairytale. Who doesn’t love a fairytale?

"Zonnestralen" by Onderwijsgek - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5-nl via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zonnestralen.JPG#mediaviewer/File:Zonnestralen.JPG
“Zonnestralen” by Onderwijsgek – Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.5-nl via Wikimedia Commons – http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Zonnestralen.JPG#mediaviewer/File:Zonnestralen.JPG

Once upon a time there was a maiden who was fair of face and full of joy. Her parents loved her and named her Noreen. When Noreen was born, she was sickly, weak and suffered many bronchial illnesses. However, as she grew up she survived the childhood illnesses and grew into a beautiful woman filled with happiness. Her joy would be experienced all over many lands. Her laughter was contagious, and she loved to dance. She was creative and lived her life out loud.

As she grew and developed into a fine young woman all the men in her court wanted to bask in her sunshine. She learned that some were not so honorable. Due to certain circumstances, many of which were not of her own making, some of her beliefs were inherited from the other women in her court and their stories made her afraid.

Noreen became afraid of some of the men and soon the fear cut her off from much of humanity. She became tough and she learned to defend and protect her heart in the worst way. She began to carry a heavy mallet within the folds of her gown. The mallet gave her a sense of security where she could strike anyone with it in an instant. Noreen became known for using her mallet without discretion and the men at court became more afraid of her than the dragons they slayed.

By now, Noreen’s heart was shut down, lonely and remained ever lonely until one day, while sitting in the garden wondering if she was doomed to spend her life lonely and sad, without the love and protection of a man, she wondered, was she to experience a life without passion, romance and affection and always be at the ready to use her mallet? There must be more to this meager, painful existence, she thought. Then, it was almost as if the gods had heard her plea when Veroesjka, one of the princesses who was known for her beauty and kindness came by and asked “why so glum dear Noreen?” Noreen shared her fears and concerns around her lack of love and then Veroesjka gave her a book called “Calling in the One,” the work of Katherine Woodward Thomas. Though resigned and shut down not believing, Noreen read the book and almost like magic a feeling of possibility and wonder exploded from her heart and surrounded her in 100 diamond pieces around her heart and head. Noreen instantly fell in love with her life. The book transformed her life and her relationship to herself so much so that she decided to put down her mallet and turned it into a beautiful wand and it is now a mystical tool.

With wand in hand, Noreen set about experiencing herself as love which was her new power. She discovered that her wand is a mystical power tool.   Her heart was glowing, growing and expanding every day. Noreen set out on a journey and shared love with women of the court. She saw that a happy woman makes a happy world and that it was a gift that was given to her to share with all the woman of the lands. And her sense of love grew with strength and softness and she continued to share her message of Happy Woman Happy World with other women who too had been afraid and closed down around love; women who had forgotten their passion, dreams and desires. They had lost their trust in love and romance.

Noreen, together with these women banded and branded themselves as Doulas, women who served other women to rebirth themselves, their passion, dreams and desires and be there for others. Upon coming together, each doula was bestowed a wand and they went out into the world with reopened hearts.

During this time Noreen began to be courted by the men of Court OkCupid and sometimes the men of Court Tinder. With the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder Noreen would go for long walks in the Forest of Fort Greene. Her walks became known as the Walk of Knowledge. During the walks she found that if she shared openly her desires, the men would do the same and share their secret wants, needs and desires of their heart. Noreen soon discovered that some men’s hearts were a deep and lonely place. They wanted nothing in the world than to serve women and to be useful, to love and be loved in return. They wanted to give their attention to a woman. During,these walks, she saw the hearts of men were just as tender as that of the women. It was a wonderful experience and during the walks men returned healed, heard and complete.

The moral of the story is that we are men and women. We are similar yet obviously different. Love is just as universal as pain. We are all seeking to express the love we have within. We all have a choice to love and be loved by whomever we choose and our power is rooted inside of our love. Noreen continues to work in the Forest of Fort Greene with the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder. She has found her eternal love and knows it exists within her and she is sure that she will find the man of her dreams.

Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach. Her workshop for women in NYC is called Calling in the One Unapologetically. In this workshop women expand their capacity to give and receive love and reclaim parts of themselves that they have long disowned. www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com

Calling In The One Unapologetically 4.0 Has Begun!

Vacation on an island (1)

Last week I had the profound pleasure of starting my workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically (CITOU) and it was amazing. The women came in and I watched with awe as their faces beamed with anticipation and excitement. I stood filled with my own anticipation in the back of the room and watched my dreams begin to materialize. I felt my future husband. I saw/felt CITOU being conducted in the islands, women being healed and taking care of themselves and sharing their dreams and desires, of living their life their way, abundant woman filled up with happiness. Noreen Sumpter is making a difference in the lives of all woman. I am excited. I am so hungry for this experience. I could eat them up. You know that saying when you see a cute little baby and you say “I could just eat you up?” That is how I feel about the women in CITOU. I could just eat them up. I love them so much.

The women who have participated in Calling in the One Unapologetically I am proud to say they have created some amazing things, business, houses, poetry, books, fashion, photography, dating, Jobs, all out of love. September 18 will mark our 4th iteration of CITOU and the women who are in this group are exciting and excited. I cannot wait to see what they will be creating going forward.

As for myself, I am having a wonderful time creating the love of my life. I cannot begin to tell you how my online dating is going. Last year this time, I could not buy a date. Over the last few weeks my profile is being bombarded with amazing men. All the men that are contacting me are amazing even if I do not want to date them. The level of generosity that is being expressed to me by these men is staggering. The men are sharing with me things that they say they would not share with anyone. This year, after creating CITOU, I am a space of unlimited love. I am in love with myself and in love with others. I know in my heart that I will be in a relationship with amazing man very soon. I can feel it. I am nervous and excited.

What have I done differently? I created a safe community for other women. I created a space where they can literally leave their crap behind. I created a space that is free where around me they can say anything they so desire and they can create courage, take risks, create actions and take them. They can find their beauty and begin to feel themselves healthy doses of love every day. People, can I tell you, I am in love with life and in this workshop and I found that the love that I am looking for that I want to last a life time. It is my love. My love lasts an eternity. I do not have to look for it. I have it right here with me. My job is to share it and give it away. When I started doing this workshop and doing transformational work, I did not know that I was not acknowledging that I was hurt, my heart with empty and I was afraid. Today, what I have found is that I had unconsciously made up my mind to heal my heart. Then, I did not have the words to describe my feelings. Today, I also know that love may not come when you want, but it is right on time and my truth about love would never have been revealed until I accepted that aching space within me.

The Workshop Calling in the One Unapologetically is the second to the most amazing things that I have ever created in my life.

Come and Join us Thursday September 18th at 500 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018 Studio #401, at 7:00 pm.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

20 Things To Do To Maintain Your Friendships

Screen shot 2014-09-09 at 11.39.03 AM

I am so excited to know that as long as I have an abundance of happiness and love, I am rich beyond measure. This fills my heart. My relationships with my friends and family are the cornerstone of who I am and how I live my life. If I kill off one person in my life, I feel a deficit.

What my friends can count on from me is that I will always clean up any mess I have with you. I will be 100% responsible for what I say and do not say, how I was being or not being. Just because our relationship is over does not mean I don’t and won’t love you. My love for you will never die, because there is a fine line between love and hate, if I resist my love for you I’ll be mad. So, I will use my love, where it will live as a warm memory in my heart.

Use these 20 tips to keep your friendships healthy.

1. Accept your friends as they are and not as you think they are (do this and you won’t be disappointed).
2. You and your friends might be similar however, you are different in a lot of unknown ways (this experience is sometime a bitch to learn).
3. Your experiences are yours, they are not theirs (share, share, share and don’t expect them to know everything).
4. Give your friends the same freedom you want in your life (don’t blame them for their choices).
5. Differences in friendship are what makes the friendship exciting and powerful (opposites create fun, courage and risk. Hello!).
6. Tell your friends what you expect. (They cannot and don’t want to read your mind)
7. Happiness is a subjective phenomenon; and is experienced differently by everyone. It means different things to each of you. (Variety is the spice of life)
8. Focus on what you have in the friendship and not what you don’t have.
9. Create with your friends what you are committed to in your friendship (Recreate it daily)
10. Honor you word in your friendship. (Do what you say you’ll do. If you can’t ,say so)
11. Know what you value in yourself so you can share it with you friends (Now they know)
12. Let your friends know that you value and love them
13. Don’t forget how it feels to receive respect and affection from your friends. (Express and share it)
14. Take time to celebrate yourself, and your friendship openly (I am so glad we are friends. I love you).
15. Recognize your friends and their strengths (My friend Kim has style, Jacquelyn is great with structure, Mike rocks the house with music. My sister makes my stomach muscles hurt with jokes).
16. We are humans and we all make mistakes, do not kill off your friends for mistakes (Gee, thinks everyone is a stalker because they love her)
17. Give to your friendships with an open heart
18. Don’t take your friendships for granted (furthermore, practice not taking yourself for granted).
19. If you have negative thoughts toward a friend challenge it and immediately create a positive thought (This takes mega practice).
20. Open your heart in your friendships. Be willing to be moved, touched and inspired with your friends. (I feel weepy, that was so special)
The happiest people have lots of friends, and have the ability to build supportive relationships and they spend time with happy people. Knowing your communication style is important as knowing how to share your affections and emotions, as well as building trust. It is important to spend time investing in and maintaining your relationship if you want to build a great friendships.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

20 Things To Contribute To Your Life’s Happiness

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Photo Source

Contribute these 20 things to your life. If you practice them, they will make you happy.

  1. Stop all negative thoughts dead in their tracks as soon as they show up
  2. Do not, text, email, or call anyone when you are angry (I am practicing this one)
  3. When angry find the source of the anger and flush it down the toilet.
  4. Know that love starts and ends with you  (Love never ends, that’s why we get mad)
  5. Start accepting that you and your thoughts are the cause of everything in your life
  6. Happiness is a result of how you feel about yourself moment to moment (Is that why my hair is so great LOL)
  7. Cause someone else to be happy and you will be happy (Who wants to be happy? Lets play)
  8. If happiness is something you desire make something exciting happen for yourself instead of waiting for something to happen
  9. Be happy instead of in reaction. The only thing to react to is Joy and laughter
  10. Laugh 20 times per day. (Don’t question it Just do it!)
  11. Be a yes to love, joy and happiness
  12. Be ready to create a space of forgiveness
  13. Have enthusiasm and passion live together in the same space
  14. Honor your freedom and let others have theirs
  15. Spend time being grateful for how happy and great your life is, and if it does not look happy, fake it until you make it.  One baby gratitude at a time (something like, “I’m amazing when I smile”)
  16. The less judgmental you are of yourself the happier you will become.
  17. Do not put limits on who, what or how you love. Just love
  18. Do not complain to yourself or to others (This is a huge one, I still have a hard time with this one)
  19. The more you love the bigger your vison of life
  20. The more love you give away, the more love you receive back.

“You give but little when you give of your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give.”  Kahlil Gibran

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Hello Ducky!

ducks

Rubber ducks can help your give up the past and its problems.  With a duck you can end a constant complaint that you have in your life.

Wait. “What you talking about, Willis?”

Well, last weekend I assisted at a Wisdom Seminar. Wisdom is a yearlong course where we the members meet collectively every quarter to talk about things we love in our lives and want, it is a training and development seminar like no other.  The workshop gives you tools to dream, create and play in your life.

Ducks were used to change negative constant complaining conversations. 

duck3

 

We were throwing ducks (aka playing). The idea was when I threw a duck I had to say quack and when I caught a duck I’d say quack.  We coupled that with a complaint.  The gist of the game is I find a complaint that I cannot let go one that I really complain about and then complain about it for 5 minutes then throw the duck. I threw it intensely as I do not get an opportunity to throw things ever. So throw it for 5 minutes then go back and talk about the complaint again.  I discovered when I went back to talk about the complaint, it was as though my mind had rewired the complaint and it did not have the same flavor. The complaint disappeared!

The irony is that Ducks can help you get rid of your complaints.  Who knew?

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

What’s Your Self-Accepting Promise?

Accepting yourself is a big step, but it is the most important one of your life.

acceptingAffirmations are part of accepting yourself. Go through your day and say “I accept myself” over and over again.  Keep saying it no matter how uncomfortable it makes you feel.  Eventually, it will start to break through and you will understand that you need to accept yourself.

I encourage you to try writing what I call a “Self-Accepting Promise.” Write down all the things you need to start to believe about yourself.  If you cannot think of anything, take all of the negative things you say about yourself and reverse them.  For example, change “I will never find a good partner” to “I deserve a loving relationship.” Here is my Self-Accepting Promise to myself:

I love myself and that helps melove those in my life and those who come into my life

I will accept myself for all that I am and all that I am not.

I am beautiful, loving and kind.

I will not place judgment on myself or others.

My life is a contribution to the world.

Without me the world would not be the same

I will never force love from another.

I am worthy of all relationships that honor me.

For, I am a woman of grace, dignity, courage and joy.

I am a reflection of life itself.

I respect myself and I respect others.

I love myself and so others love me.

I honor myself and so others honor me.

There is no other me ever.

I am compassion for myself and so others are compassionate with me.

I promise myself that I will always speak my truth with love.

I will be forgiving when I have forgotten who I am.

I will be compassion.

I am power, success creative and abundance.

I am fully provided for.

I have fear but fear does not have me.

What is your self accepting promise? I invite you to share your own affirmations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

5 Signs You’re Lacking Confidence

“Confidence is a characteristic that people recognize immediately it is a way of being, you either have it or you don’t, but it is often apparent on first meeting.  A person with confidence is like a ray of sunshine on a really gray day. Confidence… thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection and on unselfish performance. Without them it cannot live.” Franklin D. Roosevelt 

confidence

In the words of Franklin D. Roosevelt, confidence is a way of being. The first question that one should ask oneself is: Do I feel confident? If so, in what areas of my life do I feel confident? If you feel your confidence is missing, what areas of your life is it missing from?  How can you develop your confidence?

Confidence is something that is important in all aspect of one’s life.  It is important to have a healthy dose of confidence so that you can live your life comfortably and happily! It helps you connect to people in ways that open you up to say what you want, and allows you to share yourself and create feelings of connection.

Here are five key signs that you may be lacking confidence in your life:

  • Not being present in the moment
  • Not being responsible
  • Not having personal boundaries
  • Not having an authentic sense of self value
  • Not asking for what you want authentically & with integrity

You may find confidence to be missing in these areas/circumstances: career, relationships, after a divorce or loss of something or someone important, emotional loss, or loss of a personal experience that mattered in your life.

Understanding the power that having personal confidence provides open doors and enables you to create the life you want. Confidence is a development of self and that it is something that you can grow and develop within your life.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

 

 

Why the Monday Morning Blues? Try the Monday Morning Happy.

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Get happy with your choice to be at your job.

I had a fantastic weekend. I did every absolutely everything I wanted to do.  I ate frozen cherries and berries, I watched movies, I read, I slept, I chatted with a few people. I connected with friends on Facebook added and found old friends.  I had a great weekend.

Did the thought of going to work on Monday make you wince? If so, I’m sorry to hear that.  Do you know more people have heart attacks on Mondays? Stress – this is a common experience for a lot of people. When you get on the subway this morning, did you notice the misery on people face in the subway car?  No one seems excited for the work day.  Most of the people riding to work are in a funk and are complain about how much they hate their jobs, bosses or what they do.  People are dissatisfied with the work life.  LET’S CREATE SOME SATISFACTION FOR A JOB WELL DONE TODAY. 

Most people hate their jobs, they hate their bosses and they are in some sort of upset with their co-workers.  Most workers had no idea who they were or what they wanted to do when they took on their jobs/career. The one desire was to make money.  Now that you have been on your job for a number of years, you feel stuck, locked in, and feel you have limited job options. Your money is good and you’re afraid to leave your job or switch career gears. You are afraid that you might be trapped in the same job doing the same thing for the rest of your life.  WHERE COULD YOU GENERATE A SOME COMPASSION FOR A CO-WORKER, COLLEAGUE OR BOSS YOU DISLIKE TODAY? GO ON, JUST TRY!

What Is Your Potential? Most workers do not know their potential. They have settled for whatever it is they have settled for.  Many people find out later that they have gone against their true nature for money and work and so they are not doing the thing they want to do.  I remember when I worked a job where l longed to make a difference and I did not know what I wanted to do. I just knew I wanted to be happy and make a difference.  WHERE COULD YOU USE YOUR POTENTIAL AT WORK TODAY DESPITE HATING YOUR BOSS AND YOUR JOB?

I changed my job because I was sick of pushing papers.  I didn’t love my job, but I liked and I loved the people I worked with and that’s what kept my energy going.  I liked talking to them. Work for me was like a social event, because I love people.  So no matter where I was if there were people present I could make myself happy. WHERE COULD YOU BE WILLING TO FIND SOME HAPPINESS AT WORK TODAY DESPITE THE FACT THE YOU HATE YOUR JOB?

How many times did you hit the snooze this morning? Now, I have life the way I want it. The truth is I always did and so do you.  You are on your job and you chose it.  You may not like you job or enjoy it as much as you did when you first started, but it is yours.  For those of you who are happy on your job, congratulations, and for those of you who are not, I am very sorry to hear that. So, what are you going to do?  If you answer is nothing, stay in your cubby and leave the happy people alone.

Do you feel obligated to go to work?  Do you hate your job? Please, I beg you stop hating it.  Hate is a robber of energy and it doesn’t provide you with anything positive, least of all it does not provide you with room to see your greatness and create newly.  Hating impacts everything in your life and keeps you stuck and keeps everything away that is important to you. No one is forcing you to go to work or to do a job that you do not want to do.  That is a choice you are making every day.The sad news here is that you don’t even know you’re the one making the choice.  You’re the one sucking the energy out of your life. 

Today is Monday and already some of you might be thinking of Friday.  Let go of that thought and come back to the now.  This week start doing One Thing.  One thing that you can be proud or.  Challenge yourself.  I will assure you if you do one thing today, tomorrow up until Friday you will have so much energy by the end of the week and you will be happy.  Stay in the now, be present, and Friday will come without you forcing it

Create a mindset that you will be happy at work and start going within and ask yourself, if you’re not happy in this moment, what can you create right now that will make you happy with your work and yourself?  Maybe you need to clean up something.  Maybe you could do that task you have been putting off.  That conversation you want to have but you’re afraid to have.  Take an action that you are afraid to take.  Or do that one thing that you have been avoiding.

You can spend the next 8 to 10 hours being or you can create it by being happy. The truth is you choose.  So choose, wisely and happily. 

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Stop Resisting Your Higher Self And Listen To Your Instincts

Photo Source: createandconnect.org
Photo Source: createandconnect.org

Do you ever get a feeling of heaviness when you are doing something that you don’t want to do? For instance, there are people who are working at jobs they don’t want or do not like; dating people or hanging out with people who leave you feeling as though you have just run a race with ten sacks of potatoes on your back.

You are not following your higher self, or your instincts. When higher self and instinct speak to you, you feel joyful and happy, giddy with laugher. If you are forcing yourself to do something that is in the realm of “should,” you’re not listening to your higher self or your instincts.

I had a friend who was always negative and you could never tell whether she would be in a happy or a foul mood. We would go out and men would speak to us and she would get into an argument. We would go to restaurants and she would get into a fight with the wait staff or treat them like poo. I hung out with her on and off for years because we were from England and we had a few things in common. It did not dawn on me that we were incompatible, until one night after going out with her I came home drained. I had to ask myself why I’m so drained – did I have a good time? My answer was no.

The universe is a wonderful friend because not long after that, she cursed me out the way she did the wait staff. I listened and when she was done I shared with her that I could no longer hang out with her any more and we ended our relationship. It was that simple.  Simple, yes, and a little difficult too because we do not make friends with people to end the friendship. However, more often than not, people are in our lives to teach us who we were or are. We might not like it and it is okay.  We learn the lesson and we move on.  My energy level went up and I started embracing people who were in alignment with my new energy.  People who love people, people who love sharing and enjoying life, giving and receiving compliments.

Do you find yourself resisting and sabotaging yourself?  Now to answer this question you have to be insightfully straight and honest with yourself. In order to tell on yourself, you have to be willing to feel uncomfortable for a moment, but it’s well worth it.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Who Really Says How Your Life Goes?

happiness

What if you had only three months to live, and the only way you could extend your life was by doing the things that you always wanted to do but never did? Take a moment and think about it. The stipulations are as follows: it has to be do-able within three months, it has to be something that you daydreamed about constantly; it has to be something you never fulfilled or completed in the past.

Consider the following:

The first step would be to calm down, because you may be panicking about the impending end.

Think for a moment and pull yourself back together.

Express yourself and don’t censor or edit yourself in any way.

Be how you want to be and create what you want.

It is no one’s business what you choose to do.

It must be something fun that you would derive pleasure from.

It makes you happy and it is important to you and it could if you choose make others happy.

You have only yourself to please.

Ultimately it is nobody’s business but your own.

You do not have to focus on anything other than your daydream and your creations.

These are the rules

  • You must be completely honest with yourself and that may be something you have never done before in a truly conscious way.
  • Full self-expression, it is necessary to unleash your passions and everything that makes you, you.
  • Willingness to fall on your face and risk embarrassment (FYI embarrassment can be eliminated)
  • Speak to someone every week to keep you accountable
  • It must be something you have never done before
  • You have to be willing to fail and fail big.
  • You must be patient
  • You must trust yourself and you cannot ever make yourself wrong (FYI there are ways to resolve it if you do).

You must be willing to experience trusting yourself and creating your dreams so they will materialize. The other side of this experience is that negative thoughts materialize and unlike your daydreams and fantasies, negative thoughts take little or no energy to materialize.  So you must recognize your words have power to create thoughts, and thoughts create actions.

You must be willing to admit when you are afraid. When you do not, your fear becomes worse.  If however, you admit that you are afraid, the fear can disappear and you will discover you have power.  When you admit to your concerns, they too will disappear. When you do not, they stay in your head and they become even bigger.

You must be willing to distinguish each concern and barrier separately, rather than roll them all into one mass, which tends to show up as procrastination.

The Flipside

The flipside, if you really only had three months, you would start believing in yourself like never before. You would transform your mindset and start playing in the universe; then you would realize it is an abundant playground. You could start believing that you are the captain of your own life. You create and generate your life, job, relationships, finances and you can really have whatever you want. This is because you do it already.  (Don’t believe me, just look at yourself, your nice apartment, crappy apartment, money, no money – you created all of that!) You would either realize that you are amazing, you are beautiful and there is nothing ugly, bad, broke or fat about you.  You would become naturally generous with yourself which in turn would transfer to others who would want to be around you so much more.  Let’s imagine that you created a fabulous week for yourself. You had a wonderful experience this week because on Monday you said everything you needed to say, you were honest with yourself, you honored you word, you did all the things you said you would do. You generated courage to follow through and it’s now Friday and your week went the way you planned it and it all turned out really well.  What’s next?  You get to say.  You always get to say how it goes.

Do What You Want – But Take Care Of Yourself!

The truth is you will always have time for busy. Do whatever you want to take care of you.

There will always be times in life when you have a lot of things going on.  Especially if you are a woman that wants a huge life.  There will always be emergencies where things will and can always go wrong or don’t work out.  I can guarantee that. There will be deadlines at work, and you period has not come, and you have a medical emergency, you feel guilty about what you did last night, last week and last year. The world, hell the Universe will be screaming for your attention.  I am getting sick just writing this list. These are 13 ways to Live Life Your Way and live by your own design.

happylife No is what you say to anything that is not important to you.

Laundry is not important to me.  Clean clothes is what important you don’t have to do it, you can give it to someone else to do it.  People who do not stand for me and who want to make me feel bad about myself you know the people that want something and guilt you into it.  Your mother, boyfriend, friends even the mailman.  You know it’s bad if the mailman can guilt you into stuff.  Things that are not important to you and not necessary to you.  Say No, Good way to handle that is to say I prefer and to do that.

Asking for Help

Asking for help is really important.  A lot of people would rather sit in their misery than ask for help are you one of these people.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help and when you do ask for make sure that you use it.  Don’t waste people’s time talking about help and then not using it.  Most people want to help want to revel in seeing you successful and happy.  People when helping it makes them feel useful, important and important.  You can ask for anything you want anything.  Know when asking People they have to right to say yes or no.  People are grown and responsible for the choices they make it is not you position to choose for them.  Just don’t underestimate people and try to take negative advantage of them.

Stay on contact

It is important to stay in contact with your friends.  No matter the length of time that you have know the person.  People like to be acknowledged and to feel like they are friends.  There are 6+ billion people on the planet and if you do not feel like you have no friends, no one loves you then you know what you are not being a good friend.  You might be expressing love and sharing love.  Love is addictive.  Giving love and expressing love is a good feeling.  Try it.  Send a message, send a text letting people know that you are thinking of them makes a world of difference in another life.  It does not have to be a two lunch it could be a 5 min checking in just to see how they are doing.  Try this on for size,  send out I was thinking out you messages to your friends and people that you want to be friends with and see what comes back.  No it is not weird.  I am doing 5 right now.  Stop what you doing and just do it.  The 1st five people in your phone to start.  I’m back, just sent out 8 instead of five.  Got 3 responses already in 8 mins.  Generally if they are in your phone most are friends.   You don’t have to keep in contact with everyone, most will be okay about it.  However, keep in touch with people are best as YOU can it will keep you happy and keep you inspired around life, making friends and being inspired.

Surround yourself with things that you like.

Surround yourself with only the things that you enjoy or like.  Do not buy or bring into your emotional space things that you do not enjoy or like as they was pull emotional energy from you.  When you in a dumpy mood or low energy having things around you that you enjoy that you can focus on will and can cheer you up and bring up your energetic level.  Pinterest is an awesome app as you can put it on your computer your phone and you can get little boost of inspiration.

Gratitude List

I usually provide this as a tool to my clients, at first they find it difficult as in another thing in life to do then they do the gratitude list as chore then they.  When you are being grateful about what you have in your life.  You do not have time to whine about the things you don’t have.  Gratitude provides you with a tool to protect yourself against negative influences whether you are making, or the result of the activities of negative people around you.  Recognize that you have to power, and put it into constant use until you have created for yourself a wall of immunity against negative influences in your own mind. Our negative thoughts and influences usually work on you through you subconscious mind and are often difficult to detect.  So having a daily gratitude list, even creating one where you share back and forth with friends of like mind will empower you creating dialog instead of monolog where the negative thoughts do not have a chance to pollute you mind.  Gratitude has power to move you forward.  Keep a journal for your gratitudes where  you can go back whenever you need a little boost.

Keep a Planner for your life, and your fun times

Keeping a planner makes you life less crazy.  It is good practice to put all the things that are important to you also adding things that are fun.  Many people put in doctors appointment, work things, children but they don’t really schedule time for fun.  Get in the practice of adding into your planner time for fun.  It is a really exciting thing to look in your planner and see that you have schedule time for vacation, but it is also great to see inside of your day that you have scheduled time for fun things with friends or on your own.  When you keep a planner is it important to schedule everything so you don’t have any shocks surprises and missed meetings.  Once you have got that the difficult part will be to learn to use the planner in a way that is effective and does not make you regret the appointments that you have made.  Balance things, and give your self the right to say no thank you to an appointment.

Keep track of your wins

Write down you wins.  Weekly wins are important so that you can have a real record of your wins and your achievements.  I got a write up in an online magazine http://www.t2conline.com/a-call-for-coaching that’s  a big win if I don’t write that down.  I will never remember.  Make a habit of writing down your wins and achievement’s  write down you milestones they will help you when you feel that you have hit a wall in your personal achievements’ at the end of the day you can check in.

Your appearance: Make sure you like you

Also make sure that you like what you wearing and that you have your own personal style and that you look the way you want.  That your style is yours.  You don’t have to have the latest blah blah, but it is good to have your own look that unique to you.  With regard to your clothes take on your body, do you feel good about your body, are you a little overweight or a lot overweight, but you wear your body well.  Do you slouch to cover up certain flaws? Could your arms do with a little firming and you find yourself complaining about them.  Then work on them or shut up.  You style has a lot to do with how you carry yourself.  Be bold and move with boldness.  Mousiness will never look great in best of clothes.  Generate your energy.  You could be wearing sweat pants and give an air of confidence where you are wearing them they are not wearing you hiding something about yourself.  When you go out to shop make sure you shop for what you really like, bring a trusted friend who can share with you how the item looks.  However, truth is if you are confident in your image you will find clothes that will state that as a fact.

Create a go to Group

Have a go to group. A go to group is a group of friends that you respect and trust, that when you hit a wall or experience anything that derails you.  These woman are a bigger stand for your life than you are and they will support you to get back on the tracks of life.  They will remind you whether gently or they will shake up if you need a good shake up.  If you cannot afford a coach, a go to group is perfect.  These woman must not coach you or tell you what to do, what they will do is remind of who you are and the commitment and goal that you have or are creating for your life.  They will provide you with a pep talk or a reality check.  

Do something silly that makes you laugh until you tummy hurts

Go and see a really stupid move, there are a ton of them out there.  When you go to this movie, you should laugh naturally, when I mean naturally I mean at your own level and length of time.  Be you, do not go to the movie and do what everyone does, the movie laugh track, when everyone starts are the same time and finishes at the same time.  So unnatural.  That is censoring a natural emotion.  Laugh until you are completely done.  I went to the movies, with this guy once it was a date.  We went to see Fat Albert http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=fat+albert+movie&view=detail&mid=B326DD89B259A34501CFB326DD89B259A34501CF&first=0&FORM=NVPFVR&qpvt=fat+albert+movie  The movie was everything and corney. It made me laugh so much that even after people stopped laughing I was still laughing.  It was great to just laugh.  However, the guys said “Note to self never take you to see a movie again”  as me if I cared.  I think that laughing in a movie is a compliment to all the hard work it took to bring it to the movie, I had a great time and was completely expressed and free.  Laughing is good for you . Laugh often and laugh loud its contagious. Make jokes, engage your peeps, share jokes and laugh at lot.  It makes you feel better and is good for your health.  Every time you laugh a comedian get his chops. Lol.

Be emotionally okay

Be ok with your emotions, you have to emotions so that you can express them.  Unexpressed emotions can cause a lot of emotional pain. If you sad, express it.  However, express it a way that allows you to complete the cycle.  Do go digging for sadness, don’t go dregging up old relationships and add them to your new ones.  If you need a good cry, cry and complete it.  Do not blame other people for your sadness your need to cry or for your crying.  If you stressed out, look at what is causing the stress and create new actions to take to relieve the stress.  Stress in a big killer and I am sure you don’t want to die or suffer some stress induced illness.  Do not cover your emotions express them.  She them responsible.  Release all the emotions, frustrations, and the anger in a responsible way.  You will feel so much better with the release and so clear actions to take.  (Here’s an action step call me and ask me how to clean your stress and get your in action).

Write things down

Conversation and thoughts disappear, so write them down.  Get yourself a little book and save your brain cells, ever get those times when you get a great idea, or your hear something.  Or someone gives you the name of something and you think you can remember it.  Well you cannot.  If you have a full life, it is rare that you will remember the thing.  Also, when you can whip out your little book of remembering you actually are telling the other person that what they are saying is valuable enough to write it down.  Don’t waste time trying to remember stuff write it down.

Accept yourself as you are and as you’re not.

Make an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and love yourself every moment of every moment.  Don’t think about things that you have not achieve yet.  Love yourself and accept yourself without reservation.  You are very different  and unique from every one else.  You are one of a kind and quite beautiful.  Accept your uniqueness your path is different from everyone eles.  Start loving yourself by stopping the comparisons of yourself to others.  Loving yourself means stepping outside of guilt.   Detach yourself from the reactions of others. Assert yourself with a some compassion.  Show people who you are.  When you show people who you are they get a chance to share themselves with you.  When you judge yourself you stand in the way of your self-love.  Every time you judge yourself you separate your-self from others.  Stop separating and accept yourself now.  You do not have to change anything about yourself.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter