Live Life Your Way™ 2013


Live Life Your Way™
presents an afternoon of
“Creativity” – The Key to Everything in Life.
Day:            Sunday November 17, 2013
Time:           1:30pm – 3:30pm
Location:     153 Clinton Ave #1B, Brooklyn, New York
Cost:           $30.00 in advance click here to purchase tickets, $40.00 at the door

Live Life Your Way tm presents an afternoon of Creativity – The Key to Life; Can you consider you’ve cut off your passions and you’ve stopped creating?
Find out what stops you from being creative and fulfilling your passions.  We will use some creative tools.
In this workshop, you will give yourself Permission to Dream Big and use your creative gift.  Find out what people are really saying about you and why it is none of your business what they think.  The intention of this event is to:

  • Let your light shine
  • Become passionate about your passions
  • Own and rid yourself of personal fear by taking immediate action
  • Experience fear and create courage in one action
  • See the well of creativity in your life
  • Give up pretending you don’t care what people think and create the courage not to!

“It doesn’t matter what we do until we accept ourselves.
Once we accept ourselves, it doesn’t matter what we do.”
Contact: Noreen Sumpter 718 834 9450 or 917 945 5907

Breaking Down Barriers & Relying on Others

In a relationship, you have to being willing to rely on others.

Couple In Love On A Bench

What is a real relationship to you? A relationship is what you say it is. However, often times it is not what’s coming out of your mouth that breaks down our relationships, it’s what we are not saying and what we are doing that ends them.

For instance, if you believe that you can’t rely on anyone, that is the hidden message that you are sending out into the universe and others. Do you find yourself attracting the same dynamic – such as the dates that always rely on you to plan the date, make the call etc., and you don’t know why? What you do know is you cannot rely on them.

That’s your unconscious action of not relying people because you’re afraid you will be kept waiting, disappointed, hurt, crying, lost and they will only leave you broken hearted and alone. So you do things on your own. Do you want to continue doing that? How would that experience feel? Truth is you won’t feel anything because it is an internal conversation that you are blind to.

How will you be able to rely on a person you are in a relationship with? You can’t. When you say that you cannot rely on people you are actually saying that you cannot trust people. So no matter what people do for you, in your background they’re not doing it well enough. Judgments are at the head of your table. Truth is you might not even be aware this because you are blind to your to your actions. Being in a relationship, a real relationship, one has to be willing to rely on another person. When you cannot rely on people, you’re saying you don’t trust people and so you will never trust a relationship, because you cannot trust yourself, and deeper than that you cannot trust the divine.

When you cannot trust you or the divine, you will not be able to experience the things that are important to you and you can experience difficulty creating the very things that are important to you in because creation lives in the world of trusting the unseen. So you might be a person who is extremely reliable and trusted by many people. However, you are not aware of your behavior and you might feel alone, and maybe you do not have the experience of people wanting to help and support you. The following might give you some insight as to what is operating out of your perception.

Here is a classic example of failure to rely on someone else:

You ask someone to help you with a problem. They agree to help you and as fast as the request came out of your mouth. You’ve done it on your own.

The person is doing the task at hand:

  • You go behind them and redo the task i.e. reset the table.
  • You hesitate or don’t to ask for help because you believe no one can do it the way you would like or as good as you.
  • You ask a man for help, then wind up being disappointed because you could have done it yourself.
  • You share with a friend something important to you that you want to accomplish. You friends start relating to you in the way of the accomplishment and you get upset and call it pressuring.
  • You ask for advice or help, and then when the person is talking, you interrupt by not allowing them to support you…because you believe you know it all.
  • Friends ask you how they can help you. You refuse to share what you need because you are so accustomed to doing things yourself that it feels like an intrusion.

If you really are committed to having a relationship, practice relying on people and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

It’s The Last Day To Sign Up For Calling In The One Unapologetically

Calling in the One Unapologetically starts tomorrow. Are you ready to attract and manifest the love that you have yearned for?

In this life-changing nine-week workshop, you learn and discover the love that truly makes you happy. Each session in the Calling in “The One” Unapologetically is designed to help you identify and remove the inner blocks that have kept love from being rooted in your life.  The workshop will provide you with a progressive path to become free, clear and open to your life — where loving relationships manifest.

Are you ready?

Sign up today

noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

917-945-5907

Calling In The One Unapologetically – January 15th, 2015

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In 2014 for one year I have been leading Calling in the One Unapologetically, a workshop for women who are looking to expand their capacity to give and receive love in their lives. This workshop is so much fun and very valuable. It is a high level and rewarding workshop.

The women in the workshop are phenomenal, they come from all walks of life and all ages. They are dynamic, sexy, articulate and amazing. They come together with the sole purpose of finding a partner and creating their best life. They make no excuses for what they want in their romantic relationships, they are ready to discover what it is that they are doing or not doing, that is at the root of them not fulfilling or having intimate relationships with a man or woman of their dreams.

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These are women who are willing to clear out the obstacles that have been holding them back from love. They are creating their best life to bring in the perfect partner. This workshop is powerful and it is not for the faint of heart, it’s for woman who are committed to being in relationships that are vulnerable and courageous. It is a live and direct workshop.

If you are a woman who wants to sit back and wait for a relationship to come to you, don’t bother registering. This is a seminar where the woman are like surgeons, they get scrubbed up and are ready to go to work honing their skills and take massive action for what they want.

The workshop is for 9 weeks, at the cost of $250.00 and it starts January 15th 2015 at 7:00pm. The location is 500 8th Avenue #1206 New York, NY 10018.

Facilitator: Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach. Certified by New York

If you are interested in finding out more about this workshop contact 917 945 5907 or visit www.Callinginthe1Unapologetically.com.

Happy Thanksgiving To You

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Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends, business associates and neighbors.

In this time of year I have a lot to be Thankful for. I am thankful for all that I have accomplished this year. I am thankful all the women that joined me in my workshops. Participants and Doulas. We had a wonderful time. We created awesome things and opportunities, we received things we did not know we wanted and let go and released things we no longer wanted.

I am thankful for all my friends and wonderful friendships, the people who have worked with me this year. I am thankful for my health and wellbeing, I am thankful that my Diabetes was discovered. For if it were not discovered. That would have been terrible. I am thankful for my doctors and health professionals. I am thankful for my neighbors, friend and the love that they provide me in my community. I am thankful for the shopkeepers in my community and the services they provide. I am thankful for my networking partners.

Thanksgiving is not a holiday I grew up having. It is something that I adopted in coming to America. I think it is a wonderful time to get together with people and make contact with people to share how thankful you are to have them in your life. It is a time to express and share love.

I wish you a wonderful Thanksgiving and the energy of being thankful every day in your life.

Noreen Sumpter

You Are NOT Too Old. Just Start Something!

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Are you fed up with wanting things that do not seem to materialize? You want someone to make your dreams come true, you are mad and frustrated at times, you feel resentful of complete strangers and even more frustrated at people on television who seem to have it all. In spite of this, you cannot seem to get your butt off the couch to make something happen. You’re so glazed over by the TV that you cannot even think, let alone dream. Some of you might even think that you’re way too old to dream any more. I heard two women speaking, one asked the other, “do you sing any more?” The woman who was asked looked away as if searching for a distant memory. “No, I don’t sing any more. You know after you get to 40 you’re washed up and nobody wants to hear you.” I thought that was pretty depressing. It is sad and disappointing when we give up something that gives pleasure because we believe we are too old. If that really was true, what would we look forward to for the rest of our lives if our dreams die off as we age?

Age has got nothing to do with dreaming and dreams: think of women who are in retirement that have started new businesses, gone back to school, gotten married, travelled the world. A woman who is living her dream and going after things that are important, is expanding her capacity to dream and make her dreams a reality. I am also sure that they were not thinking that they were too old, and even if they did, they did not heed that thought for a moment.

Well, relax and get a grip on yourself. All that whining and droning on is not going to make any difference. What you have to do is drag whatever your conversation is about yourself – whether lazy, heavy, sad, disappointed, rejected … bootie up and make something happen. It is difficult at times to drag any part of your anatomy when we are feeling all of the above. Many of the above statements are judgments and limiting beliefs that we make up about ourselves and believe to be real. These judgments and beliefs can block creative juices and we end up feeling stuck and bad about ourselves.

No-one wants to hear whining, least of all you. You don’t want to hear yourself whining. Are you the kind of person who complains a lot? It does not have to be to a close friend, it can be to a co-worker or neighbor. You know, the person who lives up the street who you see now and then, who you start to drop all your woes, anguish, sadness, wretchedness and straight-up misery onto. My God, nobody wants to listen to your misery. The constant complaint is that you’re trying to release your upset. Please give yourself a break and stop! No-one really wants to hear about you not making any money, your lack of relationships, no social life, how old you are, etc. It is depressing and upsetting and most of all you’re reminding people of their own issues. Please stop, quit, listen to yourself, shut up and change direction.

Life is a wonderful playground filled with all kinds of adventures. So there! Now that you know that life is a wonderful adventure play-ground, play in it! What adventures do you want? What games do you want to play, what dreams do you want to dream? Can you or would you be willing to put your age in the background and start creating, and are you willing to go after a dream or two?

So, honey, you might not have any idea what you want. You might say, “I want to be happy.” All the people on Planet Earth want to be happy, and that is a great start. Start looking at the things that would make you happy and I would say be happy. Happiness is an emotion. It is a natural emotional expression of what people feel when they are doing things that make them happy. A baby lying in its stroller/crib on a nice warm sunny day who has a clean diaper and their stomach is full does not have a thought about being happy. The baby does not look up at its parents and say, “Mother dear, I just want to be happy … if only I could walk and talk to you, I would be ever so happy.” NOT. The baby is just happy being a baby.   You understand conscious and subconscious, right? You can be, do and have anything you want. So why are you whimpering about happiness. People, just be happy.

Do you know that the universe has every kind of adventure that your mind could ever create? It’s just for us to create something. Do it. If you don’t like it you can change directions and do something else. That is the beauty of the universe; it will not make you wrong. You make yourself wrong. You add the feelings of guilt. It is important for you to create the adventure or seek out the adventure that you want.

Did you ever stop to think that not knowing what you want could be a great place to start, because the point of not knowing gives you the freedom to create from nothing. Think about it. You get an opportunity to just start something. Anything, but something. Just starting something can lift your energy and get you moving. It does not have to be anything that others think is special. What is important is that you think it is important. If you think it is important to you, then go for it. It just has to be something that feels good to your soul. Many people know what that good feeling is. So if you do something and it generates a good feeling then keep doing it.

(Please note, however: not all things that create good feelings are healthy, e.g., illegal drugs create a good feeling, however, they are not good for you and you will end up in a not so good condition or place. Alcohol can give some people a good feeling in the beginning. However, it is not to be used as a substitute for happiness. I am talking about things that make you feel soulfully good and happy. Soulfully happy for me is a feeling that when you think of it, it brings tears of joy to your eyes and my heart feels full. Or other times, I get this fresh-air feeling that just goes straight to my heart. Hey, you know your soulfully good and happy feeling and if you don’t, start looking for it.)

Once you have found your soulfully happy feeling, you have connected with the thing that you want to create. What do you think could happen in your life? You start to feel happy and you experience happiness. Instead of having those non-productive conversations where you are miserable, start having conversations that are filled with energy and excitement. Instead of being an energy drainer, you now become a person who is glowing and sharing.   People start sharing your energy. You feel excited about what it is you are doing and people want to share and spend time with you. You start to look attractive and people are now attracted to you. They start to enjoy your company. You start to enjoy your own company. It is fascinating to see this happen.

Once you have a clear decision, you get to have real use of the adventure playground. You get to jump on all of the games and equipment the universe has to offer. You get to go to the ball. You get to have that dream of whatever it is you want. I am not going to put any ideas into your head because your ideas are unique to you.

Just start something!

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

“Live Life Your Way”    www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com  www.BeYourselfAlready.com

Call 917-945-5907 or e-mail Noreen@NoreenSumpterCoach.com

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Calling In The One Unapologetically: Not for the Weak of Heart

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The Calling In the One Unapologetically workshop is complete and we will be starting a new one on January 15th 2015. I could not have asked for a better 2014. I really had a fantastic time leading the workshop this year. Ladies, I have been given a divine responsibility to transform myself and to make sure that women on the planet have courage and truly be able to give and receive love in a way that is personal to them. The women who completed the workshop find themselves in a space of gratitude, love and happiness. They’ve that they have control in all realms of their life – from dating, work and career, their homes community and their environment in a definite way. The women discover themselves fully in all areas of their life and they reclaim their power, freedom and full self-expression.

In Calling In the One, my heart expanded in such a way I could never have imagined. The women, with the support and help of their personal Doula (Woman Servant), expanded themselves in relationships with men, women, work, finances and many other areas. They discovered that dating is just one aspect of loving. In other areas of their life CITOU allowed them to give love and receive love with courage and freedom. They now realize how love and the honesty of love is very important to them and it’s their birthright. However, what they also experience is love as something they already are, not something they must seek; they learn to trust themselves and share it.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically the women who have participated range in age from 20’s to 60’s; they come in on an equal footing. Everyone comes looking for ways to transform themselves and create love in their lives. Some of the women have never had long-term relationships, some are 40- somethings who have never been married, and some have been married one or more times. We have lesbians and transgender people. They are no differences; all are expanding their capacity to give and receive love – powerful love. Calling In the One Unapologetically is for all women: married, single, gay, straight, transgender – women. I make no bones about it, it is for all women.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically, the word Unapologetically is added to have women see that they do not or never ever have to apologize for what they desire in life. Every area in life can get transformed in the workshop, whatever is important to you, so you can live a life fully engaged in all areas, never stalled waiting for one thing to happen before you can do another thing.

In Calling in the One Unapologetically, rejection is struck from the dictionary. Rejection is a universal concern for all people: In Calling In The One Unapologetically, speaking and acting without certainty is powerless. The women discover that rejection is a method of incongruity. They discover that they cannot be rejected by anyone except themselves. Many of the women who take Calling In the One Unapologetically, although they are committed to creating love in their lives, they have not experienced love in a good while. Many of them have not dated for a number of months or years and have been on the cycle of dating since they were teenagers. One of the big things that becomes clear in Calling In the One Unapologetically is that without self-love there is no love at all. When self-love becomes evident, that is when life and love opens up.

In Calling In the One Unapologetically, women experience all aspects of dating, from the experience of relationships ending, and choices being made. Apartments being made over, relationship from out of the blue being completed, all kinds of unexpected and inspiring occurrences. This is a magical workshop where anything is possible. If you are interested in growing and expanding your capacity to give and receive love powerfully, join us:

Calling in the One Unapologetically starts January 15th 2015.

Heart-Pounding Calling in the One Unapologetically Celebration – Thank You Deeply

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Wow, wow, wow. What fun, what happiness did I experience last week! It was heart pounding. I was so excited to have the women in my workshop complete yesterday. We celebrated and shared our hearts out. It was completely amazing. The women who attended were beautiful generous and amazing. They shared so effectively, you would have thought that after a few minutes that they were in a mini version of Calling in the One Unapologetically.

We ate and of course we drank Prosecco, sweeties what’s life without a little bubbly? I of course dressed beautifully in gratitude of our party. (Give me a reason to dress up) Calling in the one Unapologetically is not for the weak of heart. It is not for women who are in a constant complaint about life.

Calling In The One Unapologetically is for that woman who is ready to take on her life by creating the love of her life by taking on herself and live a life filled with love, happiness and freedom.

Last night, we registered a woman who had done Calling in the One by herself. She said it took her two years to do all the work. It only took her to a certain place but she did not fulfill on what it she desired. She became overwhelmed with herself. She became one of the first to register why because she was in the right place at the right time and she knew what she had come for. How exciting was that?

Ladies, there is no shame in saying that you want connection, that you want love in your life. I met another woman yesterday who said that she was putting off creating love in her life for 2 years. How is that possible? Love is everything. One cannot put love on pause. She was going to focus on her career. In calling in the one you focus on everything because life is not linear it does not go in one direction. Putting things off of 2 years. Do you want to know there is no 2 years? All that remains is now. Right now. There is not tomorrow there is only now.

Calling in the One Unapologetically, is for the brave. By brave I mean women who have challenges around their life and they are willing to take the small steps to transform their life. I am honored to be the One who has been given this opportunity to give my life to having myself and others go for what they want in their lives.

Calling in the One is for all women. It is for women who love men and for woman who love women. Love is love and the members of Calling in the One are women who embrace choice powerfully. My personal initiative is Happy Woman Happy World. Big love to you all.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

What’s Right For You?

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What is right for you? That is the question.

When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.

What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you want it provides you with passion.  You start to take action, regardless of fears.  You create an opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   There is a strong confident sense of knowing that does not need to be explained when what you want is right for you.

When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression and, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You stuck not knowing where to start.

Start by setting goals.

The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create provides service for others and becomes is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.

Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you. Ultimately, it is not about money, it is about the experience.

Set a clear picture of who you would like to serve is it men, woman, animals, the planet, to achieve your goal, or what is the experience you would like that have and provide to reach your goal.  Does, the experience make you happen. When having the experience is your heart happy, are you learning something, is your heart open, does time stand still, can you expand the time you have? Are you energized? Do you feel free. It is an experience that says, “I could do this for free if all my needs were met? If the answer to this question is yes. You know what you want.  You job now is to find out how you will provide and service these people so you can have what you desire.

Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients, money, life, love and service we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to create the structure.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what the structure.  Get relax and trust yourself.  Notice the fears that will start bubbling and your conversations about your success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  They are just a feelings, that will show you that you are not present and that will stop you from taking action, push through.

As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win even when you feel you are losing and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.

What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Schedule a conversation with Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: 917 945 5907, noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Past, Present and Future NOW!

There are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live into and get to.

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The past has teeth – or maybe dentures

The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or dentures.  The strength of the past is clever as it works with all human emotions; it works with our perceptions of the world – not the way it is but the way we believe it is (or was). If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we have courage to let go of the past, not feed it the nutrients it requires to feed off our memory and have us make unworkable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now, and before we realize it we take small steps into the future one step at a time which rapidly become our past again.

The past can be like an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy or can be from a place of complete sadness. One of them is happy and full of life, able to see life newly in a way that continues to bring happiness and joy; they age but continue to grow. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live from an unhappy, distressed place sees life as a burden, everything is difficult, life is heavy and they are depressed and angry and don’t want or cannot transform their situation; they are dying. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as an opportunity.  The past runs their life and they are not growing.

The present is full of possibilities

Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities.  The past is worthless and has no real place in the present other than it needs to be there (it thinks) in order to “protect” us.  It’s a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present is committed to the things that bring joy and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment.  It is full of endless possibilities where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what occurs from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong: only what happened. The present allows life to be lived from a very powerful place with a sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting intuitions where many doors are always open in the now; living with a fresh outlook. In the now, life issues become easy and accessible bringing your goals to you faster.

The future makes no promises

The future makes no promises; it only depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures.  Some are soft, hard, rough and smooth. The textures of the future are like the textures of life.  It all depends on the ones that are wanted or attached to.  It also can be held in the grip of the fear of the past. The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.

The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now.  It likes the structure of making plans.  However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated while being free from any type of attachment.  No easy task!

The future likes that you are clear about your requests and does not operate from complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment) such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity (they come from the past) into your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubt (or fear or any kind of concern or consideration) and put it to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because that is where you have power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time to the degree that you catch yourself doing (or thinking) the things that don’t work for you.

The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past on what is in your now; only then can you can feel the present clearly and the future will just take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your requirements, keeping in mind that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whatever way you go.

The past, present and future have power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline that will help you handle and work with them in the now! The key is working only in the NOW – as everything else is just either in the past or in the future where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!

Noreen Sumpter
Personal Life Coach
718 834 9450

Whatever You Can Do, Or Dream You Can, Begin It

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Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment definitely commits oneself, and then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of event issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect of one of Goethe’s couplets.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

W. H. Murray

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

You Ain’t Worth Squat

Don't put yourself out with the trash.
Don’t put yourself out with the trash.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I ain’t worth squat, shit, nothing.”

These are some of the things that you say about yourself. Maybe it is something that people that loved you said to you when you were not behaving in a way they wanted you to. “You’re a lazy good-for-nothing and worthless.” This is one of my old “recordings” (something that used to play over and over in my mind when I was stuck) and it was one of the things my father used to say to me frequently. He said it because my bedroom was always a mess; it was his way of shaming me into cleaning it up. I felt awful when it was happening. However, it did nothing to inspire me to clean the room or even keep it tidy. I had all kinds of responses for his and critical ways. I would just resist what he wanted me to do. However, I know that it did affect me. It affected me in a way that made me want to be really good at all the things that I put my mind to do. I would always be trying to prove something to myself to prove I was not worthless.

My dad has been dead for a number of years and I am used to having his voice ringing in my head when things used to not go my way. It impacted my life in many ways. If I wanted to lounge on my couch, I could not because I would hear his voice. After recognizing this pattern, I decided to work on this mindset because I was and am not lazy, I had to learn to lounge on my couch in peace! I love to work. However, I loved to work at things that I was interested in. It took a minute to clear up that mess and turn off his voice. I always thought I had to work hard to get the things I desired. I discovered that my self-esteem was low because of those conversations in my mind.

How I was able to address this incessant “tape” was to first notice, then recreate the disempowering thought patterns and then retrain my mind. I had to understand that my life was not a representation of what I had, what I was or what I did. I used to be terrified of making mistakes. I had to transform my opinion of myself. Even though my father tried to pump me up with one conversation, saying that I was worthy, he had no idea that he was disempowering me with another.

Changing my opinion of myself and being present to empowered conversations, I have been able to change my internal conversations from negative to positive. The more I felt positive, the higher my self-value became and I am noticeably confident and powerful. I was not born this way. I created myself through sincere examination and transformation. Only then did I begin to experience more opportunities and take more risks. That’s not to say I do not have fear now. The difference is that I do not let fear control me. As a result, I started to become much more present to my ways of being. I discovered the better I thought of myself the more people and invitations I received (I would get invited to the Ball!). In essence, I am becoming the Ball.

The more positive you are about yourself and your life, the more you will attract what you want, whether it be customers, friends, etc. When you feel good about yourself and you have self-esteem, you develop a sense that you can take more risks.

When you have good self-esteem your level of creativity expands and you are free to create. You don’t need to know anything until a challenge or problem arises. You start to see life as an opportunity to learn, grow and develop.

What are you saying or believing about yourself that is an old conversation, and what have you done, or not done, to change it? Consider it might be impacting your life and self-esteem and creating negative conversations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach