I’m No Longer Dating With My Eyes and Vagina

Romantic couple on the date, abstract ripped paper background

 

What does that look like when I date with my eyes? I look for the hot guy. When I date with my vagina it’s all about lust. The hot guy for me is the guy that fits my proto-type of what I find attractive and enjoy. I couldn’t help it and now I understand it was my automatic when it came to dating.

What’s a proto-type? A proto-type for me is the type of man that does it for me. I found that I dated that same dynamic over and over again. An example of my proto-type is a man that is tall, 6.2 to 6.5ft, bald, preferably West African or a French colony, his complexion is jet black. He is loving kind, a little bottled-up sexually and wants to fully sexually express, that last part is not that specific I just noticed that. That’s what I’m attracted to and that is what turns my head. I also noticed that this is completely the opposite of the first man in my life which was my dad. My dad was 5.6ft my mother was 5.9ft and they looked odd. So I was working on avoiding that dynamic. My father had a Napoleon complex and I believed that a little man would try to dominate me. My father was moody, bossy and the boss. In a lot of ways he was great and in a lot of ways he was exactly how he had to be with me.

I’ve always envied people who did not have a proto-type until I discovered we all have our thing, some physical some not. Whatever it is, we all have our proto-type. However, I am smart enough to know that we all have something that does it for us. Don’t ask me why. That is the physical aspect of what’s attractive to me and I have been attracted to it over and over.

What happens is whenever I’d meet my proto-type, it was as though my mind would go blank – I didn’t see anything other than what they looked like and what I described. Oh, I forgot to add, I love great teeth. Great teeth do it for me. There are no questions, it’s all physical and it will go no further than that because I have no foundation for anything else. It is a fantasy. I don’t ask the questions that we would normally ask of a date, because I’m not operating from any place other than my eyes and my vagina. Lust and my sense of beauty. There is no future in this regard. This connection is base, it can go on for a long time with no future. It’s all about looking good and sex.

With my proto-type there is no future to create because I was never present. My proto-type is purely feel good, look good and wow! Basically, I was disconnected, shallow and was operating at a base level. No judgement it was just what it was.

It’s so great that I have discovered that this is what I have been doing with relationships. I want you to know that I am not saying that what I did was wrong or right, good or bad. I am just being responsible and not allowing my vagina to go on a date without the rest of me. The dynamic that I was creating has now expired because I’m creating relationship, commitment and connection in a relationship.

It is the knowledge that I have about myself, I have the tools and ability to be responsible, present in my relationships going forward and the outcome of that is that on Sunday, I had a date, the 1st in a long time, the first one when I did not worry about height or concern myself that he was not my proto-type and I was settled inside myself as I was completely present and experienced a really great date. I had a good time. I stayed on my side of the date. It was my job to enjoy myself and have fun and I did that. I asked questions, shared myself. Ate good food. Laughed at his funny and corny jokes. Had some silly jokes corny jokes of my own. I even got moved that I could actually be on a date with a man that was not my proto-type and I gave myself an opportunity to wonder what it would be like to be with a man that was smaller than anyone that I have ever dated. I saw that what I had been avoiding this whole time in my relationship was looking like my parents. My mother was taller than my father and this guy was 1 inch taller than me.

People, I have been avoiding dating my father, forever a short man. I had an internal conversation and limiting belief that had me create the complete opposite of what I did not know I was avoiding. Me, a tall woman with a short man. That conversation, going forward can be buried and put in the past. I had been dating with my eyes and vagina pretty much all my adult life. I did not have a barometer to distinguish anything going forward. The difference now, is I’m dating with curiosity and being present.

Noreen is ready to engage in a full adult relationship that is inspiring where I know myself as generative, creative, loving and kind. One where I am sharing myself openly, intimately with a man that is amazing and beyond my wildest dreams. Now, I know I am not naïve. I’m open to knowing whatever concerns I will show up and I embrace them as opportunities to grow.

Passion and love is courageous and all-encompassing.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

Pay Attention to What is of Value to You

The thing that you’re looking for is everywhere. The moment you know what you’re looking for it becomes available.

Why is this so? It’s because the thing that you want has value to you. It does not matter what the thing is. For most of us it’s a job, business or in my case a man. When you know that you are looking for the opportunities and information become apparent. If you know don’t know what you’re looking for, you will never find it.

It is also true for things that you cannot be straight about. If you can’t say what you’re looking for you’ll will never have it, even if it is something that you might have the opportunity to see every day. I remember dating a guy that drove a big orange diesel power Mercedes Benz. I’d never seen anything like it before in fact, I was embarrassed to ride in it. Anyway, the moment, I started dating him and driving around in his big orange/yellow Benz, it was as though the car was everywhere. Why? Because he drove the car. And as much as I did not like the car, he was important to me, so replicas of his car would show up everywhere.

It is important to pay attention to what is of value to you because it becomes easier to find and or attract it.

Diabetes, Stay the Hell Out of My Yard

 

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on October 8, 2014. I went into my doctor’s office for a routine blood pressure check. Routine for me because my blood pressure had soared and I could not distinguish what has it go so high? I was afraid and got myself in action to lower it. However, on this day it was lowered. The nurse asked me if I had any pain. I did, I had a slight pain in my stomach. You know one of those ones that you know will pass nothing serious. She said give me a urine sample, gave me a cup and off I went.

Copy of _DSC0173-86Anyway after a little while the nurse came back gave it to the my doctor, who is absolutely fabulous I might add and she broke the news that I had Ketones in my urine and wanted to know if I had any systems. Well, I had and I had been monitoring them. I had told myself if they continued for more than two weeks I would go visit Dr. Allison. Well, Dr. Allison told me I had classic systems of Diabetes. Tingling in toes and fingers. I was not thirsty and I was not peeing a lot. She told me, she was going to do an A1C which is a Diabetes and Hemoglobin test. I should make an appointment to come back in the morning. Seriously though, I knew I had Diabetes.

Fast forward, the next morning at 9:00 am. I am sitting in Dr. Allison office and she tells me I have Diabetes. She was so sad. I think she was sadder than I was. I’m sitting thinking “oh boy I’d wished it had passed me by”. Then I retracted my thought “no because I am the perfect one because I’ll right this situation.” My brothers and sisters might not and they have not. Anyway, I did not know if I should react, was I numb. I listened carefully to what Dr. Allison was telling me because I know enough to know I could have been checked out of the conversation that Dr. A. was having with me. So I listened acutely. She said don’t worry we can fix this, we can manage this.” I asked can this be reversed. She said “Yes”. However, I’m going to start you on Metformin”. Which is what is given to people with Diabetes. She also told me if my glucose was just a little higher she would have sent me to the hospital where they would have shout me up with Insulin and I was to take 2 Metformin a day.

One in the first week and increase to two the following week. I asked if I could do this without meds. She said that you could with medication, diet and exercise it can be reversed.

As I sat in her office, I made up my mind right there that I was going to reverse this situation. I asked her to give me 6 months. As In six months, I knew I could have this shit beat. Fuck that. This girls got work to do. Life to live and I need all my finger, toes and my sex drive. Seriously, it was my sex drive and looking good that got me into action. I like mittens and I want to wear them with choice not because I don’t have fingers. My toes are ugly to me, and I want them so I can wear sandals. I literally sprung in to action. Lose 10% of my body weight in fat and I would see a difference. Well I in that moment choose to lose the 52lbs that was living on my body and not paying rent.

She signed me up for diabetes education with Toni Aronstein. Toni a hippy like woman, which I liked immediately because she was weird. I love weird people. I made and appointment to see her and actually got to see her almost immediately. Toni, wanted me to take 4 tablets per day. I said not. In turn, I told her that I could have this beat in 6 months. She said “it’s was recommended’. I said “no”. It’s recommended. It is not required. Since, October 9, I have been taking 1 tablet per day and I have only missed 3 days.

I educated myself and learned a lot about Diabetes, created a video, enrolled my friends in my journey with Diabetes to support me and call me out if I don’t live inside my commitment. The saying goes that “It takes a community to raise a child”. I discovered, it takes a community to help me heal. Especially if we can’t heal on our own. The people in my coffee shop supported me, they don’t sell me cakes. Today, March 30, 2015, I am back in the normal range of a person that never had Diabetes.

People, I am a Personal Life Coach, I motivate people to take on their lives and live with Freedom and power. I believe in Happy Woman Happy World, can you imagine what that would look like. Women being able to accomplish anything that they desire. I have lost 39lbs thus far and have 16lbs to go. I love my work, I love what I do. I run workshops for women in New York City. As with anything some people just will not change. I believe that, I have to walk my own talk. If I cannot walk my own talk than for me what is the point. I might as well take down my shingle and go the hell on.

Some people will take on what I provide and transform their lives, others will put the information in the closet and continue to do things their own way not even giving what they paid for a shot or take action. While, this can be heartbreaking it comes with the territory. Some people are terrified and scared of change and other believe that they are set in their ways. All of it is fine. Not everyone will benefit for having a coach.

My Diabetes educator, loves me my doctor loves me. Why because I have made her job worthy. They job is to educate me to take actions to get the results I desire. I desire to be healthy. Of the 100s of people that she works with only a handful will do what she had prescribed. A small amount will do exercise, eat correctly and get the sugar down. They did not believe that I would do what was needed to reduce my sugar. The thing is I know me. I was committed to doing it. Most people want change in their lives and they do not want to take the actions to get the change they desire. I don’t want change. I am creating transformation. Most people do not want to take the steps to create the results they want. Most people want the quick fix, the get rich schemes, instant health which does not exist. So they give up. They give up on their dreams, desired, health, love in some cases everything that is important to them. My being healthy, has my doctor fulfill on their dreams for being doctors and making a difference and I am happy about that.

They is a large turn around in the field of motivational help and coaching, health wellbeing, relationship, finances people have interest and are curious. However, most people are still not willing to do what it takes to heal themselves.

The bottom line is I am a personal life coach, I love my life and my work. I am committed to myself and my life and I am committed to the people I work with.

Thanks for the knowledge I have and the commitment I am. Diabetes, AKA Betes stay the hell out of my yard.

 

 

 

I know how you feel

My life had no single “defining moment.” I faced times in my life when I needed to take a stand for myself, or be lost forever, living my life by someone else’s design.

I know how you feel

Lack of confidence and anger ruled my world, I felt misunderstood and I was a runner. My anger was deep and turned in on myself. My stomach always in knots and tumbling, I swallowed my voice, by sulking, disconnecting myself and shutting down. Or, I could go react in an instant.

My parents taught me to keep myself to myself: “You only give 99% of yourself to anyone and the other 1% you keep, don’t lose yourself by loving too deeply.  Furthermore, never ever let anyone know what you are thinking and or let anyone know your business because they could use it against you.” That was how I was raised; that is what I knew and how I survived? I was emotionally disconnected and stunted!  I gave myself permission to only laugh or be angry, those where my only forms of self-expression.  Never sad, for sadness was weakness and so was vulnerability.  I was left feeling like a clown with smile slapped on my face being disconnected, sad and cutoff from the world of sharing myself.

I knew choose to marry and settle in NY that I could not continue to live like this my parents had done a great job, and that way of being no longer worked for me. My family and I were close and self-expressed if we were laughing, having fun or fussing.  However, intimacy was awkward and was only expressed in as a third person.  In NY I asked myself, who would I talk to; who would tell or hear my secrets? As I had kept my secrets to myself. I was lost and alone. I kept myself busy so I did not have to be with myself and I could go on working and working. I had to be good at whatever I did because I had to do it alone. I never asked for anything. It took me a long time to learn how ask for what I wanted. I had to learn to speak up for myself in a way that had people listen to me. I dominated myself and people to avoid being dominated by them.

I always thought I was confident, until the day my marriage ended. It taken a long time to do end it.  It was a confusing experience not having the words to express my feelings because I had not created relationships to share myself with.  It took a long time to discover what freedom was for me. I had never lived by myself, I was afraid and my confidence and self-esteem were in the crapper.

I kept that hidden except for when I had to make personal choices. I had none. I existed in the world of no self-worth that were run by limiting beliefs that rendered me filled with negative internal conversations about myself that ran my life: I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, worthy enough. I never had enough, money, time, attention and love.  These were all my internal conversations.  I did how had a lot of physical energy.  I was likable, charismatic and this made no sense to me. How could I be this will all these feelings. It was a confusing time.

Today, my life is such a pleasure to know that these were just a series of conversations that rattled around my head like marbles when I was faced with generating my power. Do you know that these conversation, never actually go away? And now, I know they are not real, they don’t mean anything.  I gave them meaning. If you reading this, consider if you desire a great life, It takes commitment to live my life. Today, I feel connected to others, and because of that, today I express myself freely. I own my voice, speak my truth and live life my way and you can also.

I Lost Weight on My FOPA

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I had no idea how fat I was until I lost weight. When I look at pictures of myself, I look like a completely different person. To people that know me, they have done a double take, creep slowly up to me and say my name. “Noreen, is that you. Oh my. I did not know it was you.” That is the constant conversations, I am hearing these days.

Well heck, I don’t even recognize me. I do a double take when I see my reflection. Where on earth did my body store 52 lbs? I had no idea what 52 lbs looked like. I thought it was all in my tummy. I thought that I could keep my butt and lose my tummy. Fat is everywhere and it was in every aspect of my body. Omg, the places where I did not know fat lived it lived. I have never heard anyone talk about where fat lives. Well, I am her to tell you that I had fat on my vagina. My vagina had fat on it. Yes, that might be too much information, but it was information that I would have liked to know about. We talk about bellies and butts losing weight, and it is on my vagina that I noticed a significant amount of weight loss. I had no idea that I would lose weight on my vagina. It was shocking. Not only was my butt going through a transition where it never really felt what it was like to sit on a chair and feel my butt bones reacting. My vagina, or my Fopa (Fat Outer Pussy Area) as my sister and I like to refer to the fat on our public bone also vagina. It was thinner leaner, like lean beef. I have not test driven my new thinner vagina yet. However, I will let you know when I do. I am a little afraid and excited all at the same time.
Anyway, go forward, I lost weight in my cheeks, my armpits, and every place that you could think of where fat lived. Ears, nose, every place. I have bone touching bone.

nsskinny

Yes, I am flabbergasted. I would be lying if I said that I did not miss it. I do, I miss the warmth of my fat. I could wear a tee-shirt under my coat and be warm. Now, I have to layer. Ask me if I like layering, I do not layering is uncomfortable plus it produces way too much laundry.

Losing weight is a strange experience and I am here to tell you that dieting does not work. I thought it would be difficult and actually it was not when I just did it and did not obsess about it.

What I learned in the fat loss experience is that being consistent even though you might not see movement of the needle on the scale changing from day to day one have to be consistent. Some weeks you can lost 2lbs and other 1lbs and sometimes none at all. Consistency is the key to fat loss.

You know what else is funny, people love weight loss stories, and people get really excited for you when you lose weight. I like to say release weight.

Anyway, I am still releasing, shedding and losing. I will keep you posted about my weight loss journey.

Just a quick note. I loved my body when it was fat. I will let you know how my new experience with this leaner body is going.

Cro-Magnon Sex. Oh My.

Caveman With Club Cartoon CharacterI love sex and really, I cannot fathom what has had me go without it for so long. I wrote an article before called “how long is too long without sex.” I can answer that question. If you are an active person, any amount of time can be too long, it’s personal. I love and really enjoy sex. I think I am pretty good at it. I know I am good at it for myself as I know what I like and I am confident enough to request it. I have even been known to command it.

I am actually gearing up for some good sex, but I have no idea with who. However, I see myself in a very engaging and fantastic relationship with an amazing man very soon. Ladies, it’s okay to tell a man or partner what you want in the bedroom, living room, and kitchen or where ever you want to get it on, what you desire.

I love that word desire, it just zips across my tongue.

To have an amazing time while having sex, you have to be willing to do a little training, to get what it is you desire. Confidence is really important in all areas of your life and confidence is even sexier in the bedroom. It provides you with the idea, answer and everything you could possibly want or don’t want.

I dated this guy who I had known for a really long time, we were good friends and he had always wanted to date me. I liked him and he was kind of sexy. Key word there was kind of sexy. In life one has to learn a few things and gosh did I learn. It helps one discover what works and what doesn’t. Well, we started dating and low and behold sex with him was terrible.

He was like a frigging Cro-Magnon man. Sex with him was horrible and sex and horrible are not two words I like to put together. He was rough and terrible it was like he was running a race with a sack of potatoes on his back. Honestly, the relationship ended right there. He was not willing to take direction, he had these belief that sex was supposed to be rough and hard and he did not want to be told what to do with MY Vagina. So no more to be said, that was the end of the experience. It did impact our friendship. However, me being me we were able to re-establish our friendship after he got over his embarrassment.   Lovely, guy but not for me. We were very different.

It is important to know what you want and what you will deal with in the bedroom. We all have our likes and dislikes and one has to know what they are willing to do and want to do. If you choose to do what your partner wants, make sure it is because you are participating freely so you don’t have any resentments.

I could be okay with my friend, the Cro-Magnon man because I am secure and know what I will do and won’t do. I am not willing to feel bad about myself and can stop any action the moment if does not fit or suit my needs.

I love and enjoy sex and I think that it is important that we all find our sexual groove.

  • Love your body the way it is and if you do not love your body the way it is, do the work that will have you grow to love it. The truth is it’s the only one you have.
  • If you don’t like the fat on your hips – take action and lose it.
  • If you are holding shame in some area of your body – take action and go see someone to help you work it out – keeping it in will rub you of your life.
  • Your sexual energy is your power express it freely, honor it – do not abuse it.
  • During sex be present and enjoy the ride – there is no one sexier than you. Different yes, they have their sexy and you have yours. Ask for what you desire.
  • Drunken sex – go figure.
  • Get close and personal with your Vagina. Use a mirror take a look – so that your partner can get close and personal with it and you can be comfortable.
  • Use your hands and explore yourself through masturbation. It’s good and healthy for you.

Take the steps and get to know yourself fully.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

CALLING IN THE ONE UNAPOLOGETICALLY

Calling In The One (7)

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous. Register now!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be a Happy Woman – Create a Happy World

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Did you know that happiness is a choice and you can make up your mind to be happy today? Happiness is a moment to moment choice and with that choice it becomes your expression.

Omg when a women is happy, it is the sweetest thing on the planet. Happiness brings health, which brings wealth and abundance. When you are happy everything that could be wrong is immediately in that moment made right. I am so happy. I am generating myself and creating my mission had having a life filled with Truth, Voice, and Power. “Happy Woman Happy World.” Is alive and well on the planet. Its, Monday morning and I am great. I had my coffee, my allotted 2 pieces of toast that was dripping in butter, and a hardboiled egg. Now, I am at my desk and I am in action.

In my life there are things that are working and things that are not working. Things like, credit card bills, basic bills, I have not yet unearthed the man of my wildest dreams or should I say that he has not yet unearthed me or heard my enormous joyous laugh which will lead him to me. I still have Diabetes and 16lbs left to release off of my body and yet my heart is busting at the seams with joy. I have this vision of stars and fairy dust being sprinkle all over the planet from my heart. Yeah!

Anyway, that’s me. What will it take to have you make up your mind to be a happy today?

You can be happy no matter what your circumstance, the key is to accept them.

  • You can be overweight and happy,
  • Single and happy,
  • In debt and happy,
  • Going through a divorce/breaking up and happy
  • Losing your job and happy
  • Sick and happy

_DSC0008-4All of these things can be happening and you can still choose to be happy right here right now.

You can also support a friend who might be going through these things with your happiness. Happiness is an energy that is shared and expressed. Just as being around someone who is miserable is contagious. Being around people who are happy is also contagious. I used to be a black cloud. I had no idea how I affected others when I was being miserable, until I discovered that I am energy and I can choose to be happy no matter what is going on. I was such as black cloud that people were afraid of me. They could not contribute to me. When I found that out I was really sad. However, the confession to me was proof that I was no longer that person because they had space to share how I impacted their life. Whew! Thank God that’s over.

I have experienced divorce and breakup and I was still happy.   I am single, looking and I am happy, I am living with a dis-ease Diabetes and I am happy working on managing it.

I have found that if I can be happy with all of these circumstances, I can just be happy. Most people feel that they will be happy when the master some desire or need they think of happiness as a side effect. I am here to tell you that happiness just is. Be happy and create a life that lights you up like a bottle rocket.

  • Think about something that makes you happy
  • Make yourself a happiness log
  • When feeling down, remember 2 actions that will make you happy
  • Smile no matter how your feeling – Smile at 5 strangers – Smile for 60 seconds
  • Think of a silly song and hum it to yourself

Stand strong, make an affirmative choice to be happy today! Love you.

Live Life Your Way

Noreen Sumpter Personal Life Coach

CALLING IN THE ONE UNAPOLOGETICALLY

Calling In The One (7)

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous. Register now!

Who Do You Think You Are?

578foot/Bigstock
578foot/Bigstock

I think I’m sexy, all that and a bag of chips.

If you cannot answer this question openly, you might have an issue. If you think the statement is presumptuous then you might have an issue. If you agree with this statement, you might have an issue with others. But do you care? I think I am all that and a bag of chips.

I went out with a male friend of mine the other night who, on making plans, said to me: “look sexy tonight.” I replied with “I am sexy all the time.” He asked “who told you that?” I replied “I did.” He then said, “you’re not sexy until I tell you that.” I laughed. I told him that I am like a self-cleaning oven and I can also self-validate. We laughed. I’m sure for different reasons. I, for my ability to self-validate and he, for God only knows what. What I do know is sexy is a tone, it is a way of being, not something one has to do and you can be as sexy as you choose.

Take a minute to hold that question and let it infuse on your mind then answer this question. Are you sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips? Don’t automatically assume that it’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that belonged to your elders, and makes you feel uncomfortable where you are judging yourself against another person and making yourself wrong.

The kind of “who do you think you are” that I am speaking to and interested in is the kind where you know who you are intuitively and you have the confidence to share it proudly. Actually, it’s so clear you don’t even have to say anything. Its gets reverberated in your life.

It’s an experience of the days you recognize when you’re being so sexy that you hear it whispered in the wind, it’s just who you are in that moment. You are the cat’s meow, all that and a bag of chips. You know who you are. That’s the kind of “who do you think you are” that I am talking about. It has no words. It’s all being.

“Who do you think you are” can be translated for me: I am a woman, I am black, I am tall, I am English, and I’m a Confidence and self-esteem coach, daughter of Mr. and Ms. Johnson, 5’8″. “Who do you think you are” has nothing to do with any of those identifiers. That is not the kind of “who do you think I am” that I am even remotely interested in. However, that is not to say that those descriptions are not interesting. They are just facts that I am not interested in. They are the kinds of fact that you share with people to make acquaintances with. The meat and potatoes of whom you are.

The kind of who do you think you are that I am interested is an inside job.

  • What do you love about your life?
  • What are you passionate about?
  • What are you interested in?
  • What do you want to be remembered for?
  • What are you proud of?
  • What do people say they love about you?
  • What contribution have you made and to whom?
  • What’s one thing that no one knows about you and you wish they did?
  • What are you willing to share about yourself?
  • What are you afraid of?
  • What are you excited about?
  • What’s the most courageous thing that you have ever done for another?

The kind of “who do you think you are,” is the kind that rocks your boat and excite you. It’s the question that has you get up in the morning and look forward, it’s the kind of question when you think about it your mouth salivates or your fingers itch and you cannot wait to get back to or share. It is the kind of who do you think you are that you make pictures of it in the air. If you were a cartoon character it would pop out as an air bubble in the sky. That is the kind of who do you think you are that is generates your energy it interesting.

The sad thing is that many of you have had the “who do you think you are” beaten out of you. When the question gets asked of you, you find yourself shrinking, experiencing confusion and feeling put out. Very few of you can answer this question and get excited about sharing. Most of you were taught not to brag about yourselves or your interests, it was as though you never got emotionally fed. You had to find ways feed yourselves which kept many of your interests squashed.

So what happens when you feel squashed, many of my clients experience a hard time going after what they desire. They are good at their jobs, they have successful businesses, make money, but when it comes to their personal needs it gets put on the back burner of their life. They have a hard time going for what they want for fear of not getting it right. Adults need to get things right which gives them no freedom.

Their dreams can get so clouded over they don’t know what they want for themselves and their lives. They have a difficult time with themselves. They have a hard time asking for help and support and don’t believe that they can get it. They also feel that something is wrong with them if they seek the support of a coaches or a support system for many they don’t believe they deserve and they will sabotage their successes by not doing the work. However, when this becomes clear with commitment and understanding of their behavior they flourish. This sabotage is because they are always the person doing the helping and are confused and frustrated when they need the help. Lots of confusion and fear kick in.

Most of all you’re afraid to go after what you want as you are so afraid that you will be less attractive seen as aggressive, in some cases odd if you go after what you want with fervor you fear you might will be all alone you can’t have a life of, fun, happiness or a life partner with your endeavors.

It is important to really think about who you think you are. What is important to you? It is important to gain clarity and live in the world that you create for yourself with your rules. When you know what is important to you and take the steps develop the confidence to go after it you will be confident in the world of who do you think you are. It will not only be a thought it will become your reality. Also, when you know who you are you will learn that you are an evolving individual who is and can recreate yourself as often as you like. If you feel that you’re sexy, hot, the cat’s meow, you will be a bag of chips and all that. Furthermore, your way of being will echo it in the world.

Who do you think you are? Think about it and be it.

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

CALLING IN THE ONE UNAPOLOGETICALLY

Calling In The One (7)

An amazing piece of work, lively, revealing, challenging, provoking. Not for the faint of heart. Clear out the old, make room for a new and appropriate relationship. Leave old lovers in the past.  Expand your capacity to give and receive love courageous. Register now!

How to Stop Judging Yourself

devon/Bigstock
devon/Bigstock

We are all guilty of judging ourselves at one time or another and at times we are harder on ourselves then we would be with others. Thinking about how you would treat someone else in the same situation can help. Pretend you saw someone commit whatever sin you are judging yourself for. What would you think of what you witnessed? Would you think they were stupid? Would you even care?

The Spirit and the Universe never judge us, so why do we have the right to judge ourselves? What standards are we judging ourselves against? If you have a high standard of judgment your going to judge yourself harder and much more unsympathetically than anyone would ever judge you. As humans, we judge ourselves about everything. We judge our actions, our thoughts, our feelings, and we even judge our dreams. In turn, we judge others based on our own visions; then we judge ourselves for judging other people. It is a form of madness created out of confusion.

We live in a real world made up of mistakes, learning and evolving. What a beauty it is that all people learn differently and at different times. Our ideas and thoughts are just like flowers: some come up and bud early, some bud and bloom later, some go half way between budding and blooming then die. Some just die as seeds in the ground or buds on the vine. It is not right or wrong, it is just what happens.

Many of us internalize the criticism we learn from our parents and friends. We transfer those judgments to other people who we feel seem to judge us. However many of the people that we project onto act as our mirrors and reflect our own disappointment.

I have heard people describe situations in their life as wrong. Nothing is or was wrong, it just didn’t turn out the way they wanted it to. They see what happened as some form of punishment from God. They see God as a stern parent that gives out rewards and punishment, rewards if you do well and punishment if you do wrong.   The God that I know did not create morals, people did. Our spirit does not dish out judgment, it never judges us. The spirit gives us opportunities to balance and learn. If we made a mistake we can create an opportunity to balance it. What if we gave ourselves the same opportunity that the spirit gave us? We could give ourselves the same opportunity to stop judging ourselves.

The higher our ideals, the more prone we are to become to self judging. We experience pressure when we are always trying to improve ourselves by living in the world fearing that we will fall short or not meet our own standards.   What if we looked at our high visions and discovered that we had the lowest self-worth. The more we judge ourselves, the more people we attract that criticize us and make us wrong.

Judgment blocks energy and blocked energy sets up resistance, makes us defensive and we end up holding on to negative patterns. When you release judgment it opens a way for you to transform your life.

What would it be like to live the as best you can, accept your mistakes, learn from and do a little better each time? What if you completely accepted yourself and others for all they are and all they are not? What if you accepted your mistakes, learned from them, what kind of life would you have? What if there was nothing to prove and there was just a great life to live. What could your life look like if you were to Live Life Your Way?

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life.  They lack personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping them clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, they can take deliberate steps, own their voice, speak their truth and have the freedom to live life their way.

“Live Life Your Way”    www.noreensumptercoach.com

Call 718-834-9450 or e-mail noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

Be Your Own Valentine, Darn It!

hands holding a string of paper hearts up to the sun during sun

Valentine’s Day is an idea of celebration of how much you love someone or how much you are loved by another person. Valentines can be a double-edged sword. This is the time of year when people get engaged, receive tons of flowers on the job. Receiving flowers at your workplace might make you feel good. However, it might make the other single women want to run and hide. So women/people who have not received gifts might internalize their self-loathing of not have received flowers because they don’t have a significant other.

This is the time year where your local restaurant turns into massive orgy of a place for gluttony of chocolate, dinner and torrid sex. (Yum) If you’re not in a relationship you might feel that you want to escape the all-around experience of happy lovers on Valentines. You might experience feelings of bitterness. Watch that. Bitterness create ugliness. You don’t want to be ugly. Put your hater feelings in check.

Sure, people celebrate Valentine’s Day to show how much they love that very special someone in their lives. This Valentine make yourself special. Be your special person by being your own Valentines this year. Feel good about yourself and celebrate with yourself and or friends.  

  1. Organize a Valentine’s dinner with a group of friends and express your appreciation and love for your friendship.
  2. Indulge in your pleasure’s on Valentine’s Day and enjoy
  3. Get out your favorite sex toy and lubrication if needed and have a torrid sexual experience on your own.
  4. Send yourself something you would like to receive from a lover
  5. Have a night in with friends and watch romantic comedy.
  6. Empower yourself and go out alone spend an evening by doing something you wouldn’t ordinarily do. 

What you should not do on Valentines:

  1. Disempower yourself and make yourself wrong for not having a relationship for the umpteenth.
  2. Drink yourself into a stouter to numb out some fictional relationship pain.
  3. Isolate yourself
  4. Buy yourself a ton of chocolate guzzle the whole lot and then complain about how fat you are. Instead guzzle the whole and share the pleasure you got.
  5. Do not ruminate about lost love.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach