It’s time for you to speak up for yourself and find your unique voice. Create the way you want to be treated and live.  How will you ever find peace? If you allow people to treat you like a doormat, then a doormat is exactly what you will become.

Do you find yourself upset, resenting people, and not taking responsibility for what you say? Is your stomach constantly in knots? Do you find yourself swallowing your voice?  Then you might discover that the emotion behind all of this is your anger. You might be angry at your boss, spouse, friends or children –and most of all, you may be angry with yourself.

Are you getting assignments at your job that you don’t want?  You do it anyway, because after all, you’re good at it.  However, you’re now getting overloaded with work and you want to do something different, something with more zest.  But, you’re afraid to take a risk and ask for it.  You’re afraid of your boss, because you have all these misconceptions about him or her – she speaks fast, she shouts when she talks and this intimidates you, for you definitely don’t like confrontation.  You’re frustrated and afraid.  You feel confronted, you don’t know how to build up the courage to ask for what you want. You don’t want to be rejected, and so you suffer in a (loud) silence and continue on with the piles of work on your desk.

With fear of this kind, how will you ever get your boss or anyone to listen to you?  Subconsciously, you decide that you’ll keep doing the work you’re given and not make any waves.  In doing so, you allow yourself to get even more burned out and constantly feel upset.  You feel inadequate.  Now the job you once loved and were hired to do is becoming a very heavy burden. Instead of taking action and using your voice, you continue to get yourself worked up inside (for you dare not express yourself), and ultimately you become angry with yourself for staying silent.

As a result, everything in your life begins to get on your nerves, and you start a cycle of constant complaining.  The job that you once loved and fought so hard to get is now a burden as well.  Why? Because you believe that you are cowardly for refusing to stand up for yourself.  Consequently, you enter a state of constant mental pain and feel sick to your stomach every time you get in the car to go to work.  Furthermore, you’ve wearing out your friends with your constant badgering and you’re bringing that negativity into your home.  As a result, you start contemplating quitting and finding another job.

Quitting: How will this situation make your life better?  The fact of the matter is it’s not the job or the people, it’s you.  You find another job, but the reality is that you will remain the same until you get to the root cause of the issue.  You have not learned to speak up for yourself.  You are at the mercy of other people, hoping they will be able to read your mind. If you don’t make the decision to practice this and learn from your mistakes, you will continue to create this negative scenario over and over again. You start living in your head, creating self pity like “I am not appreciated.”  The more you say it, the more you believe it.  The more you believe it, the more it will show up, as you start looking for this self pity everywhere you go.

Finding your voice is an important achievement; it facilitates your ability to create yourself.  Creating and using your voice are two of the most important ways to have and live the life you want.  Imagine for a second what happens when you don’t have (and use) your own voice?  When you allow others to dictate your life by virtue of what they want because you allow them to control your voice?

Imagine again for a second that you create an abundant love for yourself and your voice. What would you be able to be, to do, to have in your life?  Would you have the ability to create confidence and self-respect? Would you be fully established and free to have a powerful, impactful voice?  Would your voice be an important factor in how you lead your life?  Speaking out our voice is the one thing that separates humans from animals and other primates. Communication using language helps you communicate your needs, wishes and desires to yourself and others.

Furthermore, the implication of not using your voice is the effect this silence has on your personal belief system. It becomes your reality. This is your life and you get to live it how you want.  It takes practice to release our negative habits, ideas and images of fear.  The first step is always the hardest, but if you do it, it will be the most memorable thing you accomplish and the spell will be broken.  Fear nothing, and you can attempt anything and everything.  But most of all, speak up for yourself, find your voice and display your personal power.

If someone asks you for a favor, first be clear that you want (or are able) to help them out. When you’re doing things you don’t want to do, this only creates resentment towards others and yourself.  Many people do favors they don’t want to do, and have not learned to tell someone “no”, or “I’m not the best person to help you with this”. Instead, many of us want to help too much, and when you live like this, you go against your feelings.  When you choose to be honest with yourself by honoring yourself, expect that some people will not like it, or that they could resent you.  People might think you’re selfish.  Nobody wants to be called selfish; everyone wants to look good and not lose face.  This often leads to a feeling of obligation in some way to another.

It is important to make your life, thoughts, goals and time your main priorities.  It is important to commit to yourself every day.  If you do favors you don’t want to do, you will get lost in the other peoples’ desires and expectations, making you feel bitter and upset. These feelings cause uncertainty of where you will be and about your choices. It is critical to be clear about what you will and will not do, as well who you truly are.  You can make your life a priority by being responsible acknowledging your thoughts and feelings when they arise. This commitment lets you be free to make the choices you want and take action, thereby providing you with a strong sense of who you are and allowing you to be happy with the choices you make for yourself and your life.

If you do not honor yourself, you will not be able to honor others. You will know when it is important to be selfless and when to flow with the priorities you have set in your life.

No, you cannot hang out at my apartment at 8:00am.  That might seem harsh to some people, but be honest with yourself what one will and will not do. It helps one feel better about oneself.  It is not one’s intention to hurt another’s feelings and also does not want to hurt one’s own feelings by saying yes when no is what is really meant.

Being honest with your desires provides your life with the respect it desires, as it frees you from creating resentment towards yourself.  Over the years, I have trained myself through pain and suffering that I must be honest with myself or as I honest as I possibly can.  Sometimes, it does not feel good to refuse a friend or a loved one.  However, when we respect our own choices, feeling good or bad has nothing to do with it.  We are just honoring our higher self and learn that we are not responsible for everyone’s happiness. And we realize that we cannot choose another’s happiness for them.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter

Are you fed up with wanting things that do not seem to materialize? You want someone to make your dreams come true, you are mad and frustrated at times, you feel resentful of complete strangers and even more frustrated at people on television who seem to have it all. In spite of this, you cannot seem to get your butt off the couch to make something happen. You’re so glazed over by the TV that you cannot even think, let alone dream. Some of you might even think that you’re way too old to dream any more. I heard two women speaking, one asked the other, “do you sing any more?” The woman who was asked looked away as if searching for a distant memory. “No, I don’t sing any more. You know after you get to 40 you’re washed up and nobody wants to hear you.” I thought that was pretty depressing. It is sad and disappointing when we give up something that gives pleasure because we believe we are too old. If that really was true, what would we look forward to for the rest of our lives if our dreams die off as we age?

Age has got nothing to do with dreaming and dreams: think of women who are in retirement that have started new businesses, gone back to school, gotten married, travelled the world. A woman who is living her dream and going after things that are important, is expanding her capacity to dream and make her dreams a reality. I am also sure that they were not thinking that they were too old, and even if they did, they did not heed that thought for a moment.

Well, relax and get a grip on yourself. All that whining and droning on is not going to make any difference. What you have to do is drag whatever your conversation is about yourself – whether lazy, heavy, sad, disappointed, rejected … bootie up and make something happen. It is difficult at times to drag any part of your anatomy when we are feeling all of the above. Many of the above statements are judgments and limiting beliefs that we make up about ourselves and believe to be real. These judgments and beliefs can block creative juices and we end up feeling stuck and bad about ourselves.

No-one wants to hear whining, least of all you. You don’t want to hear yourself whining. Are you the kind of person who complains a lot? It does not have to be to a close friend, it can be to a co-worker or neighbor. You know, the person who lives up the street who you see now and then, who you start to drop all your woes, anguish, sadness, wretchedness and straight-up misery onto. My God, nobody wants to listen to your misery. The constant complaint is that you’re trying to release your upset. Please give yourself a break and stop! No-one really wants to hear about you not making any money, your lack of relationships, no social life, how old you are, etc. It is depressing and upsetting and most of all you’re reminding people of their own issues. Please stop, quit, listen to yourself, shut up and change direction.

Life is a wonderful playground filled with all kinds of adventures. So there! Now that you know that life is a wonderful adventure play-ground, play in it! What adventures do you want? What games do you want to play, what dreams do you want to dream? Can you or would you be willing to put your age in the background and start creating, and are you willing to go after a dream or two?

So, honey, you might not have any idea what you want. You might say, “I want to be happy.” All the people on Planet Earth want to be happy, and that is a great start. Start looking at the things that would make you happy and I would say be happy. Happiness is an emotion. It is a natural emotional expression of what people feel when they are doing things that make them happy. A baby lying in its stroller/crib on a nice warm sunny day who has a clean diaper and their stomach is full does not have a thought about being happy. The baby does not look up at its parents and say, “Mother dear, I just want to be happy … if only I could walk and talk to you, I would be ever so happy.” NOT. The baby is just happy being a baby.   You understand conscious and subconscious, right? You can be, do and have anything you want. So why are you whimpering about happiness. People, just be happy.

Do you know that the universe has every kind of adventure that your mind could ever create? It’s just for us to create something. Do it. If you don’t like it you can change directions and do something else. That is the beauty of the universe; it will not make you wrong. You make yourself wrong. You add the feelings of guilt. It is important for you to create the adventure or seek out the adventure that you want.

Did you ever stop to think that not knowing what you want could be a great place to start, because the point of not knowing gives you the freedom to create from nothing. Think about it. You get an opportunity to just start something. Anything, but something. Just starting something can lift your energy and get you moving. It does not have to be anything that others think is special. What is important is that you think it is important. If you think it is important to you, then go for it. It just has to be something that feels good to your soul. Many people know what that good feeling is. So if you do something and it generates a good feeling then keep doing it.

(Please note, however: not all things that create good feelings are healthy, e.g., illegal drugs create a good feeling, however, they are not good for you and you will end up in a not so good condition or place. Alcohol can give some people a good feeling in the beginning. However, it is not to be used as a substitute for happiness. I am talking about things that make you feel soulfully good and happy. Soulfully happy for me is a feeling that when you think of it, it brings tears of joy to your eyes and my heart feels full. Or other times, I get this fresh-air feeling that just goes straight to my heart. Hey, you know your soulfully good and happy feeling and if you don’t, start looking for it.)

Once you have found your soulfully happy feeling, you have connected with the thing that you want to create. What do you think could happen in your life? You start to feel happy and you experience happiness. Instead of having those non-productive conversations where you are miserable, start having conversations that are filled with energy and excitement. Instead of being an energy drainer, you now become a person who is glowing and sharing.   People start sharing your energy. You feel excited about what it is you are doing and people want to share and spend time with you. You start to look attractive and people are now attracted to you. They start to enjoy your company. You start to enjoy your own company. It is fascinating to see this happen.

Once you have a clear decision, you get to have real use of the adventure playground. You get to jump on all of the games and equipment the universe has to offer. You get to go to the ball. You get to have that dream of whatever it is you want. I am not going to put any ideas into your head because your ideas are unique to you.

Just start something!

Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: works with High Achievers who feel trapped in their private life and helps them build up their personal confidence and self-esteem. By helping you clear mental clutter and dissolve limiting beliefs, you can take deliberate steps, own your voice, speak your truth and have the freedom to Live Life Your Way.

“Live Life Your Way”    www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com  www.BeYourselfAlready.com

Call 917-945-5907 or e-mail Noreen@NoreenSumpterCoach.com

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What is right for you? That is the question.

When you know what you really, really want, you never have to worry about what you don’t want or what’s not right for you.  However, what you don’t want is a reflection of what you do want.  E.g., you cannot know ‘up’ without knowing ‘down.’  You cannot know ‘right’ without knowing ‘left.’  However, many people get stuck in repeating what they don’t want and get stuck, not creating what they do want.

What do you really, really want?  When you find out what you want it provides you with passion.  You start to take action, regardless of fears.  You create an opportunity to open your heart, trust your ability, and succeed.   There is a strong confident sense of knowing that does not need to be explained when what you want is right for you.

When you know what you want to do and you don’t do it – you do what your parents want you to do, your friends want you to do, and society wants you to do – it stifles your self-expression and, energy, thoughts and creativity.  You experience a loss of power, creativity, personal success and abundance.  You become bogged down and you lose sight of your passions and dreams.   You stuck not knowing where to start.

Start by setting goals.

The first goal is being of service.  Everything you create provides service for others and becomes is a contribution to others.  Set that goal in your mind.

Look at what kind of life you would like to live.  How much money would you like to make?  Set it as a weekly, monthly or yearly goal.  You have to be able to believe with every fiber of your body that you can achieve that sum of money for yourself.  The beauty is that you do not have to know how to get it.  What this will provide is the energy which will fuel the actions you need to take to bring the money to you. Ultimately, it is not about money, it is about the experience.

Set a clear picture of who you would like to serve is it men, woman, animals, the planet, to achieve your goal, or what is the experience you would like that have and provide to reach your goal.  Does, the experience make you happen. When having the experience is your heart happy, are you learning something, is your heart open, does time stand still, can you expand the time you have? Are you energized? Do you feel free. It is an experience that says, “I could do this for free if all my needs were met? If the answer to this question is yes. You know what you want.  You job now is to find out how you will provide and service these people so you can have what you desire.

Everything we want starts in our imagination. We have to be able to see ourselves creating it.  We have to visualize the clients, money, life, love and service we want.  You have to be ready for what you are creating. You have to create the structure.  Create a picture of what it would be like to have what the structure.  Get relax and trust yourself.  Notice the fears that will start bubbling and your conversations about your success or your fear of failure.  It does not matter that you have these feelings.  They are just a feelings, that will show you that you are not present and that will stop you from taking action, push through.

As you begin to create what you want, you will notice new situations and new people coming into your life.  It is important to create time to do what it is you want to get done.  You must not forget to create time to play, be happy, healthy and balanced.  It is important to be diligent and not quit.  It is important to manage your thoughts, opinions and experiences.  Follow your intuition and listen to your ideas.  Follow your inner guidance when you follow what is true for you.  Honor yourself and others.  Everything you do is a win even when you feel you are losing and you are able to look at your life through the eyes of those you serve and those you love.  How do you want your life to serve you?  Using compassion, put yourself into the shoes of others to serve yourself and others in a peaceful way.

What do you really want and what are you willing to give up to get it?   Have a look at what you want and you will certainly find the answers as you have all the tools inside you now to have what you want.

Schedule a conversation with Noreen Sumpter, Personal Life Coach: 917 945 5907, noreen@noreensumptercoach.com

There are parts of the past that we love to dwell on and sometimes wallow in. The present is where life exists; it’s what is happening now and is alive. The future is what we pray, hope and desire to live into and get to.

The past has teeth – or maybe dentures

The past has really strong teeth. The bite of the past can be one that is either relished or resisted. The bite depends on whether your teeth are real, or dentures.  The strength of the past is clever as it works with all human emotions; it works with our perceptions of the world – not the way it is but the way we believe it is (or was). If we are stronger than the bite of the past, we have courage to let go of the past, not feed it the nutrients it requires to feed off our memory and have us make unworkable choices. Our minds automatically use only the parts of the past that it thinks are valuable and rarely allows us to play in the now, and before we realize it we take small steps into the future one step at a time which rapidly become our past again.

The past can be like an elderly person who has lived life from a place of complete joy or can be from a place of complete sadness. One of them is happy and full of life, able to see life newly in a way that continues to bring happiness and joy; they age but continue to grow. On the other hand, the person who has chosen to live from an unhappy, distressed place sees life as a burden, everything is difficult, life is heavy and they are depressed and angry and don’t want or cannot transform their situation; they are dying. They aren’t willing to attempt anything new or see life as an opportunity.  The past runs their life and they are not growing.

The present is full of possibilities

Life in the present is spontaneous, open and full of possibilities.  The past is worthless and has no real place in the present other than it needs to be there (it thinks) in order to “protect” us.  It’s a good thing, because otherwise we would get run over, or fall down the stairs, etc. The present is committed to the things that bring joy and moves life forward step by step, moment by moment.  It is full of endless possibilities where issues are forgiven and put aside; when a lesson is learned, what occurs from that situation can always be useful. There is never any right or wrong: only what happened. The present allows life to be lived from a very powerful place with a sense of awareness that creates a life of creativity, imagination and wow! The present makes room for trusting intuitions where many doors are always open in the now; living with a fresh outlook. In the now, life issues become easy and accessible bringing your goals to you faster.

The future makes no promises

The future makes no promises; it only depends on one’s perceptions of life. Its view depends on how one holds that gentle glimmer of hope. The future has lots of different textures.  Some are soft, hard, rough and smooth. The textures of the future are like the textures of life.  It all depends on the ones that are wanted or attached to.  It also can be held in the grip of the fear of the past. The future makes no promises that your goals will be met, and it is always met in the now.

The future is patient; it allows for one step at a time in the now.  It likes the structure of making plans.  However, it is more likely to work out when a plan is flexible yet unwavering in its commitment, and dedicated while being free from any type of attachment.  No easy task!

The future likes that you are clear about your requests and does not operate from complaints. In combination with the present and the universe (life unfolding moment by moment) such a way of operating can only bring what is desired. It is required that you monitor your thoughts and remain present, free of doubt and fear, meticulous and present to negativity (they come from the past) into your thoughts. Being free of all concerns is truly an impossibility – what is possible is noticing that you have doubt (or fear or any kind of concern or consideration) and put it to one side (do not operate from those concerns/considerations) because that is where you have power. This means you can just be human and be superhuman at the same time to the degree that you catch yourself doing (or thinking) the things that don’t work for you.

The more authentic you are, the more you become aware of the powers of the past on what is in your now; only then can you can feel the present clearly and the future will just take care of itself because of the observations and declarations you make in the now. You will see that the trio will be obedient to your requirements, keeping in mind that the past is always poised to infiltrate into whatever way you go.

The past, present and future have power. By using your mind to catch yourself, you can learn discipline that will help you handle and work with them in the now! The key is working only in the NOW – as everything else is just either in the past or in the future where you have absolutely no control, so there is no need to be concerned about the past or the future at all!

Noreen Sumpter
Personal Life Coach
718 834 9450

Until one is committed there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment definitely commits oneself, and then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of event issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect of one of Goethe’s couplets.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it.

Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.

W. H. Murray

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

The first 10 people who read this article and email me at noreen@noreensumptercoach.com will receive a 15 minute focus session to discover what it is they are really looking for! 

In reading a copy of Dr. Robert Anthony’s Advanced Formula For Total Success (which is so old it’s falling apart; the edges are brown), this book now my new favorite thing.

What are you looking for? Last year, I could not find a date even if I paid for one (I’m exaggerating). That was what life and dating looked like for me. So I created a workshop entitled Calling in the One Unapologetically with the intention of sharing the course with other women. This year I have dates coming out of the woodwork! Men are complimenting me all over the place. Men are looking me up and down and smiling. Also, men who want to date but have some issue that blocks them, such as a devastating disappointment and heart break they cannot even pull the trigger to show up on a date.

Instead of the upset I used to have, I now have compassion. Because through leading this workshop, I too am learning about myself as well as learning about others. I am making available what I uncover for myself and providing the space for other women to uncover what is going on for them, also – having a relationship of their dreams, a love of their lives. Whether it be a man or a woman, they get to experience what the vision of their relationship would look like and they get to have an experience of who they would like to be in a relationship.

When you know what you are looking for in a relationship you can have it. Consider that you’re looking to have a relationship, or you are already in one. Notice that as soon as you settle yourself into what you want, you are able to see it all over the place. The moment I settled myself into having a relationship, all kinds of men started showing up. It’s like with anything, the moment you decide – whether it’s a job, or clients, a lover, or an amount of money – the opportunities start showing up and the information becomes available.

When I had no idea of what I wanted in a man, I could not see men and they were passing by all of the time. For years I was having the hardest time dating! Knowing exactly what kind of relationship I wanted helped me distinguished the kind of man I wanted and then my awareness of all this helped me obtain it.

If you don’t know what you want, whatever that is, the information on how to get it will not come through. And if somehow it does magically come through, you will most likely not notice it. No matter what you want in your life, you have to start saying something different and something that has value before you can have it – so it is important to always stay in tune with your declarations.

Live Life Your Way,

Noreen Sumpter Life Coach

My workshop, Calling in the One Unapologetically, officially started last week on September 18^th 2014. The experience was wonderful to see women who describe themselves as shy show up powerfully in their lives. They now realize how their self-declaration of “shy” had disempowered and impacted their lives. They can now see how they were not able to express themselves fully when it came to their personal lives.

In one exercise the women were invited to write about their quest for love in the form of a fairytale. Who doesn’t love a fairytale?

Once upon a time there was a maiden who was fair of face and full of joy. Her parents loved her and named her Noreen. When Noreen was born, she was sickly, weak and suffered many bronchial illnesses. However, as she grew up she survived the childhood illnesses and grew into a beautiful woman filled with happiness. Her joy would be experienced all over many lands. Her laughter was contagious, and she loved to dance. She was creative and lived her life out loud.

As she grew and developed into a fine young woman all the men in her court wanted to bask in her sunshine. She learned that some were not so honorable. Due to certain circumstances, many of which were not of her own making, some of her beliefs were inherited from the other women in her court and their stories made her afraid.

Noreen became afraid of some of the men and soon the fear cut her off from much of humanity. She became tough and she learned to defend and protect her heart in the worst way. She began to carry a heavy mallet within the folds of her gown. The mallet gave her a sense of security where she could strike anyone with it in an instant. Noreen became known for using her mallet without discretion and the men at court became more afraid of her than the dragons they slayed.

By now, Noreen’s heart was shut down, lonely and remained ever lonely until one day, while sitting in the garden wondering if she was doomed to spend her life lonely and sad, without the love and protection of a man, she wondered, was she to experience a life without passion, romance and affection and always be at the ready to use her mallet? There must be more to this meager, painful existence, she thought. Then, it was almost as if the gods had heard her plea when Veroesjka, one of the princesses who was known for her beauty and kindness came by and asked “why so glum dear Noreen?” Noreen shared her fears and concerns around her lack of love and then Veroesjka gave her a book called “Calling in the One,” the work of Katherine Woodward Thomas. Though resigned and shut down not believing, Noreen read the book and almost like magic a feeling of possibility and wonder exploded from her heart and surrounded her in 100 diamond pieces around her heart and head. Noreen instantly fell in love with her life. The book transformed her life and her relationship to herself so much so that she decided to put down her mallet and turned it into a beautiful wand and it is now a mystical tool.

With wand in hand, Noreen set about experiencing herself as love which was her new power. She discovered that her wand is a mystical power tool.   Her heart was glowing, growing and expanding every day. Noreen set out on a journey and shared love with women of the court. She saw that a happy woman makes a happy world and that it was a gift that was given to her to share with all the woman of the lands. And her sense of love grew with strength and softness and she continued to share her message of Happy Woman Happy World with other women who too had been afraid and closed down around love; women who had forgotten their passion, dreams and desires. They had lost their trust in love and romance.

Noreen, together with these women banded and branded themselves as Doulas, women who served other women to rebirth themselves, their passion, dreams and desires and be there for others. Upon coming together, each doula was bestowed a wand and they went out into the world with reopened hearts.

During this time Noreen began to be courted by the men of Court OkCupid and sometimes the men of Court Tinder. With the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder Noreen would go for long walks in the Forest of Fort Greene. Her walks became known as the Walk of Knowledge. During the walks she found that if she shared openly her desires, the men would do the same and share their secret wants, needs and desires of their heart. Noreen soon discovered that some men’s hearts were a deep and lonely place. They wanted nothing in the world than to serve women and to be useful, to love and be loved in return. They wanted to give their attention to a woman. During,these walks, she saw the hearts of men were just as tender as that of the women. It was a wonderful experience and during the walks men returned healed, heard and complete.

The moral of the story is that we are men and women. We are similar yet obviously different. Love is just as universal as pain. We are all seeking to express the love we have within. We all have a choice to love and be loved by whomever we choose and our power is rooted inside of our love. Noreen continues to work in the Forest of Fort Greene with the men of Court OkCupid and Tinder. She has found her eternal love and knows it exists within her and she is sure that she will find the man of her dreams.

Noreen Sumpter is a Personal Life Coach. Her workshop for women in NYC is called Calling in the One Unapologetically. In this workshop women expand their capacity to give and receive love and reclaim parts of themselves that they have long disowned. www.NoreenSumpterCoach.com